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<blockquote data-quote="Kat Serene" data-source="post: 412484" data-attributes="member: 11343"><p>thanks for giving the "other side" ready2run. we were all teens once but unless we went through it, its hard to understand why. i remember hating my grandparents at times and thinking they were killjoys but i never would have dared to run away or openly defy them. but then we are all different and motivated by different things. deep down i was afraid of being abandoned again but that isn't a fear my daughter has. quite the opposite. she has always had everything she ever wanted and more. except for this last one, we never went on vacation without her. is she spoiled? does she know we'll always be there? undoubtedly - yes. and despite what the psychologist says, i tend to agree with marguerite - the abuse likely has had an impact. are hubby and i on the same page? likely not. and i KNOW i have alienated her by revisiting the same ground over and over because i desperately want to get through to her but am failing. you would think i'd learn. i believe it was einstein that said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing time and again and expecting a different result. its why i feel useless now - she hates me and tunes out the minute i start to speak. and if that's all she does if i'm lucky. more often she will yell abuses and call me vile and hurtful names. a part of me wants to admit i have pushed her away and the other part just cant take another beating. april and our family assessment can't come soon enough. in the meantime, i dread next week ...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kat Serene, post: 412484, member: 11343"] thanks for giving the "other side" ready2run. we were all teens once but unless we went through it, its hard to understand why. i remember hating my grandparents at times and thinking they were killjoys but i never would have dared to run away or openly defy them. but then we are all different and motivated by different things. deep down i was afraid of being abandoned again but that isn't a fear my daughter has. quite the opposite. she has always had everything she ever wanted and more. except for this last one, we never went on vacation without her. is she spoiled? does she know we'll always be there? undoubtedly - yes. and despite what the psychologist says, i tend to agree with marguerite - the abuse likely has had an impact. are hubby and i on the same page? likely not. and i KNOW i have alienated her by revisiting the same ground over and over because i desperately want to get through to her but am failing. you would think i'd learn. i believe it was einstein that said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing time and again and expecting a different result. its why i feel useless now - she hates me and tunes out the minute i start to speak. and if that's all she does if i'm lucky. more often she will yell abuses and call me vile and hurtful names. a part of me wants to admit i have pushed her away and the other part just cant take another beating. april and our family assessment can't come soon enough. in the meantime, i dread next week ... [/QUOTE]
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