hi..I'm new here.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by julierose24, Oct 14, 2012.

  1. julierose24

    julierose24 New Member

    Hello. I'm new here. My husband and I have a 6 year old daughter. We adopted her through the foster care system. She came to live with us at 4 months old, but went into foster care directly at birth. Her birth parents are both diagnosed schizophrenic. Birth mother is also bipolar. Birth father is illiterate, blind in one eye, and has a seizure disorder. Both use drugs. Birth mother used drugs while pregnant with my daughter, but both were clean at the time of her birth.

    I have always thought my daughter was ADHD -but waited until it started effecting her at school to do anything about it. Well, first grade it hit us. We got her diagnosed in August. Started her on Metadate. Within a week and a half -her behavior completely changed. Agression, tantrums, melt downs, exteme definace. Life has been horrible ever since. We stopped the medications (to make sure that wasn't what caused this), and behavior continued. She has never been an easy child -but holy moly. She is now on Adderal XR. I don't feel we have the right dose yet (sometimes I feel like there is no change, and sometimes it works for about 6 hours). It helps with the ADHD symptoms, but not the agression, defiance.

    Sleep is also an issue. The trouble began around age 3 -and has continued. We give her melatonin every night -but don't see much difference.

    Anyone have any advice or experience in this area? We have an EEG scheduled for next week to rule out seizures (though the chief of neurology, myself, her psychiatrist all agree that we don't think that is what this is because she is remorseful after her melt downs).

    I noticed a lot of adopted kids on here -is this just how it goes?

    Thanks so much for ANY advice.

  2. Anxworrier

    Anxworrier New Member

    Hi Julie,
    welcome to the board! I am sorry you are having a hard time right now. I am sure you will get a lot of good answers here. I know that with ADHD medications every kid can react differently to each medication so trial and error seems to be required. As for the meltdowns and tantrums, you may want to read the explosive child by dr Greene. Many people here swear by neuro psychiatric testing. I wish you luck!
  3. TheBoyHasArrived

    TheBoyHasArrived New Member


    We have only had my son for 10 months (he's six), but per report, his behavior changed significantly at 3 years as well. He has all of the behaviors you describe in your daughter, and we are trying to figure out "what's what" right now too. We've done the EEG with no real results also. We are pretty convinced his behaviors are a result of alcohol exposure or MI combined with PTSD, but there's no way to know for sure right now.

    I have had a couple of people who interact with my son ask if he was bipolar (they had relative's children with bipolar). While the neuro isn't convinced one way or another about my son, all of the symptoms you describe do fit bipolar symptoms in children. And, I've read that stimulants can make behaviors extreme in a bipolar child. It's interesting to me that your daughter's behaviors significantly increased recently/with medications, you wouldn't think that would be the case if it were related to an attachment disorder, etc. I hope someone is able to be more helpful!
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    medications don't necessarily help attachment disorders, just like medications are not a guarantee with many kinds of challenges. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't, and sometimes they make things worse. There may be a "better combination"... or not.

    Be aware, too, that there are multiple variations on attachment disorders. Approaches in dealing with attachment disorders are very different from dealing with other sorts of issues.
  5. julierose24

    julierose24 New Member

    What exactly is neuro psychiatric testing? Also, so far - her psychiatrist does not believe it is an attachment disorder. Should I be worried about that? We have had her since 4 months old -and these problems didn't really start until 2 months ago (the ADHD and sleep issues have been around for a while, but the agression/defiance didn't start until 2 months ago).

    I have read the Explosive Child -and it has helped us. Not always, but sometimes. Her meltdowns can be over ANYTHING, and sometimes they are completely irrational - "I don't want to take a shower or bath anymore because I don't like water."

    I need to do some more research about childhood bi polar issues. Can it just start up like this, out of the blue? I guess I'm worried that starting her on the ADHD medications uncovered an underlying issue that hadn't shown itself yet.

    We have an appointment with a therapist coming up soon. I'm hoping she can help with some suggestions on what to do.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Sorry - the attachment comment was to the post above mine, not to your original post.

    She's 6, and issues started a couple of months ago... as in, about the time school started or just before?
    If so... sounds familiar.

    Assuming initially that ADHD or ADD is an accurate diagnosis (more on that later)...
    1) half the kids with ADHD also have Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) (developmental coordination disorder, a motor skills problem affecting fine or gross motor skills or both)
    2) a high proportion (don't have numbers on this one) of kids with ADHD also have LDs, and
    3) 70% of kids with ADHD plus a Learning Disability (LD)... also have an Auditory Processing Disorders (APD).

    So. What are the chances that there is more going on than "just" ADHD? probably very high.

    That has been the path with my difficult child.

    However... many other kids on this board started with an ADHD diagnosis and ended up with Aspie or Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) or other stuff.

    With our challenging kids, often the best answers come from a comprehensive evaluation. A neuropsychologist is one source for that (more commonly in the USA), but there are others, such as a child behavioural/developmental team out of a childrens' hospital or university. Our best evaluation was a PhD-level child psychologist.

    Some comprehensive evaluations are more detailed than others. Some include an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation, some don't. Some include APDs, some only include the classical (language processing) form of Auditory Processing Disorders (APD), some don't include it at all.

    So... on top of a comprehensive evaluation, it often pays to get these two done separately.
    1) Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation for motor skills and sensory issues - report is of value to comprehensive evaluator, and Occupational Therapist (OT) has therapies and interventions that help.
    2) full testing for the complete range of APDs. Might have to wait another year for this, most won't do it before age 7 or 8. The full range includes subtle APDs like difficulties distinguishing particular sounds, or problems filtering background noise (so, hard to hear in a classroom).

    Don't get specific about your location, but could you give us some clue as to where on the globe you are? USA/Canada/Europe/Africa... somewhere? We have a global membership (although heavily populated from USA), and often there will be more "local" people with ideas that work where you live.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I have had a lot of experience with foster kids who were drug exposed in utero. Whether or not BM was clean at birth, the most damage is done in the beginning, when the fetus is developing...and if she drank, she was not clean. Drinking is as bad as other drug use for an unborn baby. So your daughter probably has issues related to her birthmom's drug and alcohol use. I doubt if she only has ADHD. Alcohol effects often show as ADHD, poor memory retention, poor impulse control, and sometimes trouble learning. Plus with the schizophrenia in both parents, you will have to watch her for that. It is hereditary.

    It is almost a guarantee that a drug exposed child will be aggressive and have behavior problems. All drugs (alcohol included) have a strong potential for some organic brain damage. It gets me really angry too because our kids were abused by their birthmothers before they were even born. Are you in an adoption support group in real time? If not, I highly recommend it, especially a group of foster/adopt parents. There are remarkable similarities with our kids!

    I agree 100% with TheBoyHasArrived on stimulants. In general, from what I've seen amongst drug affected kids, stimulants are rarely effective and make things worse rather than better. The ADHD behaviors you are seeing are probably not ADHD...they just look like it...partly.

    I adopted three kids who were drug exposed. One has autistic spectrum disorder/cognitive disorder not otherwise specified. He is a very wonderful young adult now, age nineteen. Fortunately, he outgrew his behavior problems. The other two were drug/alcohol exposed. One was a psychopath. It does not sound like your daughter is anything like him...he killed animals and perped on our younger kids and we dissolved the adoption. The third was adopted around the same time as the psychopath...he actually is a nice kid, but because he was also abused by psychopath kid, he was put into foster care, liked the family, and we let them adopt him (long story). He DID have aggression issues and struggled badly in school.

    You can not judge a foster child who has been exposed to drugs and has mental illness in the family the same way you judge another child. It is best to have the child completely evaluated. I would first go to a neuropsychologist. They do very intensive testing that usually lasts six to ten hours and can pick out if there are alcohol or drug behaviors/learning problems. After that test, to be thorough, take her to an Occupational Therapist (OT) and a PT. Our son with autism was not correctly diagnosed until he was eleven. These foster kids with drug exposure puzzled the crapola out of professionals, rightly so. They really don't fit into neat packages.

    On top of that, if she had a very chaotic first four months, you could also be seeing some attachment issues. Together, they are potent adversaries.

    Adopting foster kids is not for the faint of heart! And, as I said earlier, they tend to puzzle the medical professionals so you really need to get them to highly, highly aware professionals.

    Last but not least, I did adopt a child from Korea and one in a private adoption that we watched being born. Neither of those two children were drug/alcohol affected. My oldest girl had a hard time as a teen and took drugs, but her childhood before that and her young adult years have been normal (since she quit the drugs). My youngest daughter is one of the most stable kids I ever met...she is sixteen. We got to know her birthmother well and she smoked cigarettes during her pregnancy, but didn't drink at all or use any drugs. I think the drugs and alcohol exposure make all the difference in our foster care/adopt kids. Not all adopted kids are screwed up, however adopted kids do tend to have a higher rate of mental health issues...maybe because more young women with mental illness put their kids up for adoption???? Not sure.

    I wish you luck with your daughter and hope you keep us informed!
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2012
  8. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I agree with what the others have said. It may or may not be ADHD. It could be something that those symptoms are just symptoms of something bigger. Keep schizophrenia and bipolar in your mind but don't narrow it down to that. Keep an open mind. Another thing that crossed my mind is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Effect. Because of the drug/alcohol use, it is also a very real possibility. The neuropsychologist or developmental pediatric would be a great idea and are usually pretty thorough if you can find reputable ones. The "good" ones usually have a very long waiting list (we waited 6 months). A THOROUGH Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation would also be called for. Make sure you find a good one that has experience working with "difficult" kids. We had one that was awesome and two that weren't worth our time. It made a BIG difference for us.

    Sorry you're gong through this and also that she is. The beginning of school usually brings out the worst in our kids. It is a whole new animal for them and if they have "issues" already, it makes things much worse. ADHD medications could very well have triggered things as well. I know my son cannot take stimulants or SSRIs and he's even had very aggressive behaviors caused by a couple other medications as well.

    Sleep issues can also cause HUGE problems. If my son doesn't get 10-11 hours of GOOD sleep every night, we have PROBLEMS. He takes Tenex now and his sleep quantity and quality have greatly improved.

    Welcome to our little "family". This is the most supportive and experienced group of parents who have been through what you're going through. Even though my life with my difficult child's has improved significatnly, I still find support and help here. I can't leave. It's been my lifeline for 2 years and I thank D*g every day that I found this place. {{{{HUGS}}}} to you AND your difficult child.
  9. julierose24

    julierose24 New Member

    Wow - great advice. Thanks to all of your input so far. I live in Southern California. How do I find a neuropsychologist? My daughter has IEHP insurance -will that cover it? We have Kaiser, and she has a learning and behavioral dr, a child psychiatrist, and a therapist (that we haven't met yet), and a neurologist (to rule out seizures). Do I also need to find a neuropsychologist?

    The Adderall XR is still new to us - started it about 3 weeks ago. Some days it works for 6 hours, some days 8 hours, and some days I don't notice a difference at all. But whether the medications are in her system or not, she still has the same defiance/aggression.

    So far, academically, she is above grade level in reading -but struggling in math. She is also beginning to show some defiance at school as well.

    I don't know anything about whether or not there was alcohol involved -but she has an arrest for drugs in the beginning of her pregnancy. Don't know what kind. One dr told me that it is not uncommon for this behavior to show up around this time. Have any of you heard that?

    I always have the schizophrenia on my mind. The research I have done tells me that if the child is adopted into a stable, loving home -the chances diminish greatly. I hope I am doing my part -though I have been having a lot of guilt lately about it. Am I doing enough? Am I ruining her? (the ultimate question).

    Sometimes I lose my cool with her -it is so hard (maybe harder because this wasn't the way she used to be a few months ago). The defiance is really hard. I read that me losing my temper is going to make things worse. I get that, but it's hard!

    And yes, the sleep is an issue. She has trouble falling asleep and staying asleep -wakes several times each night. Her dr. talked about adding Tenex -but we want to do one thing at a time. It's a slow process.

    Again, thank you so much!
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    You will probably have to find a neuropsychologist yourself. They are quite different from neurologists, but usually more spot on. Neurologists are looking for medical disorders, but fetal alcohol effects or drug effects will not show up as a medical problem, although they are. They show up as certain behaviors and problems. Be sure to tell the neuropsychologist she was drug exposed.

    Nobody told me Sonic was exposed to alcohol either. However (wink) if they don't say "no" to drugs, they are unlikely to say no to alcohol. Even if BM was taking medication for schizophrenia during her pregnancy, any medication has the potential to affect a developing fetus in a negative way. Learn all you can about BM's history specifics, even if you have to call your case worker and ask her for more information. And tell the neuropsychologist EVERYTHING about her history.

    You've got a long road ahead of you. I wish you luck. Again, I recommend joining an adoptive parent support group. Lots of wise women belong to those groups...many who have adopted children with difficult birth histories many many times. They are a wealth of information. If you haven't been there, it is hard to understand. In an adoptive parent group, they are well aware, first hand, of the problems of children exposed to drugs in utero and attachment disorders. You have a complicated child, much like I did (he's not a child anymore). Take care :)
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    hi there! I'm so glad you found us. I too am an adoptive mom with a son who has multiple behavioral and learning issues. It can be overwhelming to get all this advice and let me tell you first, the guilt thing??? We have probably all been there (and I have thought just recently, why the heck did I take time off of Occupational Therapist (OT) and Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) when he was in fourth grade?? did that ruin things??, but I made the call at the time for other reasons and no way to second guess that ) the guilt is a waste of time. We can only do the best we can and we are human. Guess what? I have yet to see a parent who posts here frequently NOT say they have lost their cool at times. We are human, not super human. Compared to most parents??? We tend to have extra ordinary patience and problem solving skills in my humble opinion.

    In regard to comprehensive testing (when we say that we mean like a long evaluation sometimes a long day sometimes a couple of days with a neuropsychologist or a developmental group like a developmental pediatrician who works with team members (sp-lang, Occupational Therapist (OT), PT, psychiatric, geneticist, etc...) or a child development clinic.....), there is no ONE way to do this and because it can be a long process it is often helpful to get your own Occupational Therapy evaluation and Speech/Language Pathology evaluation because 1. subtle issues in these areas can make a child look like they have adhd or ODD or other conditions 2. Other conditions often are associated with problems in these areas 3. The results are more comprehensive than motor or sp/lang parts of comprehensive evaluations so you can bring these results to them to use to help the comprehensive evaluation professional in their process and finally 4. you can begin therapy in these areas regardless of a diagnosis (though insurance may need some form of diagnosis and that is where the other doctors can give you a "place holder" diagnosis like adhd or ODD or whatever...just dont hang on to them as the be all end all labels--they are just for purposes of getting therapy sometimes).
    Things to learn more about include Sensory Integration Disorder (try the Out of Sync Child) and Auditory Processing Disorders. My son has severe language processing problems (for him things register seconds later than most and he can't handle long sentences and directions yet, because he doesnt realize it at times himself he just acts on the info he gets and it looks like he is being defiant or uncooperative or rude). He also has a form of auditory processing disorder where information coming into one of his ears is not understood by half of his brain so things can get quite messed up. A typical hearing evaluation does not look at these issues. It takes a specialized audiologist and many audiologists told me that since he can tell the difference between pairs of similar sounding words in their lab conditions where they add noise to the head phones he didn't have the issue (but I am a sp. lang path and had a lot of training in audiology so just smiled and went to the one place around us where they have the proper equipment and tests available.)....it is a long process and do not feel like you are not doing well. Let me say, even if you get a bunch of tests now??? you will likely need to update and try again over the years and things uncover themselves, things get better, things change. It is ongoing, so dont be hard on yourself and dont worry if something they say doesn't sit right with you.

    You asked if this is just how it goes for adopted kids. No of course not all, but if you have a child who is starting to show issues and has a risky history like ours, then yes....and getting them very young is no escape from that unfortunately. But they are still lovely kids and have a great chance at a wonderful life. We have to adjust our dreams for our kids, but we still get to have big dreams for them! There is a book called "you will dream new dreams" I cant remember the author but it is about what parents go through when they have a child with special needs.

    When we have children with needs that affect behavior an added component of people not understanding and not being very sympathetic is there. Often we are blamed for not having good parenting skills but typical parenting methods frequently do not work well with our kids. I too found the Explosive Child book harder to apply when my son was young...though there are sections on this site where people adapt methods to early childhood and you might search for those. Another book that looks more at early childhood in parts (according to the author, I admit I didn't buy this one but it is on my list) is What Your Explosive Child is Trying to Tell You by Doug Riley. He has actually posted here and there are good sections if you search his name. That might be well worth it for you.

    I have had worthless neurologists and one amazing one (she is a special needs mom) and when it comes to drug exposure and alcohol exposure there are medical conditions and features in SOME kids so they can be of help for that but it is not ruled out as a syndrome if the only symptoms are behavioral and that is why a neuropsychologist is so important. They are highly trained psychologists who have extensive training in how the brain works in relation to behaviors. They can help sort our neurological and developmental problems versus mental health problems versus situational problems or the combination of these issues. (of course there are always good and not so good neuropsychs too, I just met a mom who had a lousy neuropsychologist evaluation...total waste of time, we have had several and some were good some were not so great and they were at the same university...it was the "update" appointments that were not so great. They do testing from many fields and can see the big picture better than most. They do not do in depth testing in each area (other than IQ) and I have had situations with my own clients where they would say they didn't have language issues because of the limited number of questions on their broader tests. Some of the more subtle things need a specific in depth test to rule it in or out--and to be frank--a therapist who "gets" it as TeDo said! I ask specifically for only therapists who have worked with kids like mine if I call a clinic. If you are in bigger metro area, or have access to that, then you can do that more easily.

    Sorry this is long but other things you asked about...

    EEG, sounds like the risk is low for you but also remember that unless a person is having a seizure at or around the time of the test it may not be picked up. The EEG can register if there is a physical abnormality in some cases (like in the area where my son's brain mass was there is a change in waves but it is not a seizure change). I felt my son was having seizures for years. We went to a nationally known in patient clinic and they did not find it. A few years later when with the great neuro we have, he went to a specialty in patient hospital and they really listened to his issues and did not stay stuck in his medical history. They added leads and found he was having seizures all day and all night frequently. Poor kid had been treated for a psychological issue and was taking medications that actually made him more aggressive and crabby for years. He was at a point where he was saying...Do I have to die to get rid of this feeling??? It was awful.

    Regarding medications: The medication you are using for my son (and every kid is different, just sharing so you can see there is a process and options) did not work well for him but traditional ritalin did work well (he was four at the time) and it was dramatic. Day one he sat in school for a story for the first time in his life. Was he suddenly normal? NO but it put him in a place where they could start to work on things. I have always felt though that it made him a little more crabby but for him the trade off was too good to not use it (he is so impulsive it is dangerous, he doesn't even sit and eat without the medication). He now uses Concerta and as he has gotten older we just recently have had to lower the doses which is great!

    That medication did not help with the aggressive/oppositional symptoms though. The class that helped with that when he was young (and still does but we had to add others now that puberty hit) was like Tenex. My son uses Clonidine and we use it in patch form so it is on board even at night and when he wakes in the morning. That patch changed our lives! he started Clonidine even before I adopted him. (ps. he has been off Clonidine at times in his life and we did try Tenex but that form didn't work, see what I mean...just because one doesn't does not mean the whole class doesnt but sometimes it DOES so it can be quite a ride. Start now keeping a life long journal for medications because you THINK you will remember but when she is 13 you will say...hmmm that sounds familiar and you can then look back to see how it turned out) Another class that is often helpful for our kids with behavioral issues in the seizure medications even if there are no seizures. They are medications that cross over and some are even used for bipolar disorder so you may be asked about Lamictal, Depokote and many others in that class. Aytipical antipsychotic medications are also used for kids with behavioral challenges so you may at some point be asked about Risperdal, Seorquel, Zyprexa or others. Feel free to post here and ask about a medication to get stories but as with everything, there are those where it works great and those where it is awful, it is nice to know what to look for though and often even the doctors dont realize the impact some of these medications can have (or they minimize it).

    There have been a few medications that caused sudden increases in behaviors and it was scary (for him Risperdal and Seroquel were awful) and some that over time I noticed the behavior problems increase (prozac and other ssri medications). In the end for my son we had a test done that showed he had an enzyme problem....he had almost none of two enzymes that are needed to process several drugs and it can cause him to overdose at normal doses of some medications and to need more of other medications. If over time you see she has strange reactions to medications it may be worth asking for a test like that. Kids in general respond differently to medications and for my son even if he can use a medication we start it at teeeny amounts and increase MUCH more slowly than typical (like we get it in liquid form and use a dropper to give it...painfully slow but it ends up working for us).

    No matter the "diagnosis" (which can be very useful for sure but if you dont get one or it is not complete in your gut estimation) what most of us have found is that figuring out what triggers our kids, what skills they need to learn, what problems (like sensory issues) are making things more difficult, etc. really is the bottom line.

    It helps with many of our kids to have a fairly unshakable routine. If there is to be a change in the routine then make sure they are prepped ahead of time in some way (sometimes not too far ahead of time because they can get anxious about it). For little ones a picture schedule helps. you can use pictures with velcro on them and put them in order, taking them off as they are done (which lets you switch them around if you need to change the schedule). Anything you try may seem to make things worse at first until it is routine. Many explosive kids rise to the level of energy around them so if you are angry (and i GET IT!!) they can match that and it is harder for them to turn it around.

    OK I will only add one more thing. I wish I had started this far far earlier so I am sharing it now. Remember I said I am an Speech Language Pathologist (SLP)? I was taught to be pretty traditional and data driven (meaning you see results from a certain method and record it and it is research based etc.) and there is a huge sound place for that BUT....what impacts my son the most are some alternative therapies we do. My son does horse back riding therapy and neurofeedback therapy and this past summer he did a canine therapy program where he was very successful. We now have a working/service dog that we are traning and goes with us everywhere. ALL of our doctors have met him (JJ Yeley, named after a nascar racer...one of my son's obsessions) and each one of them wrote a prescription to have him be a working dog! He makes car rides and every transition better. When my son is agitated he can hold onto the dog and when we walk through places he holds a leash and I hold on to another leash on the other side of his "working harness" and it gives us better boundaries (he tends to go for ME when upset) as well as to keep his mind on a different focus so everything has improved and it is a miracle for us. Some dogs are trained to play hide and seek so that if your child is a runner it can go find him/her. Ours will lie on us and for my son that helps with his sensory seeking giving him a "deep pressure" feeling that beats the heck out of his weighted blanket! I have learned that the daily trials/practices like in traditional therapy are not the most important...there is a magic in some types of therapies like this that often can't be quantified. There are art therapies and music and many other things that really are wonderful and well worth investigating. Do not feel you need to do them all at once! No worries, take your time and investigate what works for your beautiful daughter.

    Again welcome to you! I did not re read this so if I made no sense feel free to ask!

    HUGS, Dee
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2012
  12. julierose24

    julierose24 New Member

    Wow, thanks for all the infomation, Dee! I have written down all of the books you mentioned. I will also start googling neuropsycologists in our area.

    From the responses here, I guess I need to search this site for other posts that talk about drug use during pregnancy.

    Thanks again!
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    oh sorry to do this, I know you may be thinking ....stop already! but one thing to know about the stimulant kinds of medications, they sometimes have a "rebound" effect. That is when they are done working, the kids are way more out of control than without medications at all. For us that only seems to happen with short acting forms of the medication and so we give a smaller dose to help wean down at the end of the day. My son will literally bounce off walls if we dont catch it. NOT FUN. Just another thing to watch for with the medications you are starting.
  14. julierose24

    julierose24 New Member

    Yes, I am aware of that. Unfortunately, these behaviors seem to happen in the morning, evening, or day time. Anything can set her off at any time -and other times, she is wonderful for the entire day. The medication seems to be very inconsistent for her. Is that normal? Does it mean she needs a higher dose?
  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Inconsistency is often a sign of overload. Which means, the "last straw" isn't the real trigger. It's an accumulation of things.

    Do you keep a daily log or journal about her day? wake time, bed time, quality of sleep, what she ate, what happened at school, what happened at home... It really helps to be able to look back over several weeks or months of journal, because patterns show up that you miss day-to-day.
  16. julierose24

    julierose24 New Member

    Yes, I think I need some direction with documentation. I have tried it, but I still have no idea what sets her off. Is it because she's hungry (melt downs near dinner time), or coming off medication, or tired because she never sleeps well. It all seems to be very inconsistent.

    She HATES getting up and ready for school. Often times, she refuses to get out of bed altogether. I have to physically pick her up and put her in the hallway. Then she refuses to do anything - I bring her to school in her pajamas, with breakfast, and lunch, and hair supplies -so I can do her hair. Usually by the time we get there, she is calm and will get dressed in my classroom, eat and let me do her hair (luckily, I teach there as well).

    So far, keeping records hasn't helped me find a pattern -but I really don't know what I"m looking for yet.
  17. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Start with what you know.
    If she usually has melt-downs before supper... have you added a planned snack after school?
    Sleep problems... ask HER. Is her room... too hot, too cold, PJs too scratchy, too much noise in the house, fears, whatever... sometimes they actually DO have a clue, and can tell you. Not always, though.

    We had to peel back our problems layer by layer. Food was major... as in: eat, eat, and eat again... small, healthy snacks and meals on 2-3 hour intervals all day. (yes, even at school... ) Solving one problem made the next problem more visible. Sometimes you get farther in this "war" by sniping, than by trying to roll out the tanks and solve it all in one pass...