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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 110563" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It's very stressful when you're parenting an Aspie or autistic kid. You need to change your mind-set if you're going to be able to cope and also to be able to give them a chance to progress.</p><p></p><p>Several things - </p><p></p><p>1) Don't compare him to other kids. Some things are much harder for him and he will take a lot longer to reach those milestones. Other things work much more easily for him. Let him value his abilities but not see his slower areas as his 'fault'. Even with the things he can't do - he WILL get there. It just takes a lot longer and a lot more patience.</p><p></p><p>2) Explain to him what Asperger's is. Don't describe it as a disability, but rather describe it as a different way of brain functioning. People learn in different ways. He needs to find the way that works best for him.</p><p></p><p>3) He will do better with encouragement, support, positive motivation. He will do badly with punishment, chastising, ridicule and negative reinforcement. He will not cope with sarcasm - it is confusing to those of literal minds.</p><p></p><p>If you can, get your husband to lurk or post here. It really can help a lot.</p><p></p><p>A good book - "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Find a library copy if you want to go cautiously. It helped us enormously. It helped us change the way we saw difficult child 3, as well as how we dealt with him. He's now doing a lot better (and so are we). It's not perfect, but it used to be a lot worse.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 110563, member: 1991"] It's very stressful when you're parenting an Aspie or autistic kid. You need to change your mind-set if you're going to be able to cope and also to be able to give them a chance to progress. Several things - 1) Don't compare him to other kids. Some things are much harder for him and he will take a lot longer to reach those milestones. Other things work much more easily for him. Let him value his abilities but not see his slower areas as his 'fault'. Even with the things he can't do - he WILL get there. It just takes a lot longer and a lot more patience. 2) Explain to him what Asperger's is. Don't describe it as a disability, but rather describe it as a different way of brain functioning. People learn in different ways. He needs to find the way that works best for him. 3) He will do better with encouragement, support, positive motivation. He will do badly with punishment, chastising, ridicule and negative reinforcement. He will not cope with sarcasm - it is confusing to those of literal minds. If you can, get your husband to lurk or post here. It really can help a lot. A good book - "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Find a library copy if you want to go cautiously. It helped us enormously. It helped us change the way we saw difficult child 3, as well as how we dealt with him. He's now doing a lot better (and so are we). It's not perfect, but it used to be a lot worse. Marg [/QUOTE]
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