Hi, New here. Kid suspended

[MyDefiantBoys]

So let me begin by saying I just found out my son age 7 is suspended for one day due to him crawling on the floor and punching a girl in the leg....yea so anyways were at a loss. Weve exhausted all our ideas and are quite frustrated with not just 1 but 2 very defiante but cute little boys. Thank God theyre cute for their sake but as we all know that cuteness wears off. The eldest is actually my stepson but I and his father raise him. I wont go into detail at this time but we all know not having both parents as a child effects us in a big way. My 3 year old son is probably the most hyper kid in this state if not in fact the entire southern region maybe even the country or world. We are getting him therapys like play and speech and he has made a huge amount of progress. Smart kid but cannot slow down. (can and will hinder learning) Will struggle if things dont get better for him and I can relate to his problems however this is hard. With the 7 year old nothing works. We have taken his wii and tv and every video game away....we could put him in an empty room with nothing, have a talk with him, make him write sentences and so on and he would still deliberately get in trouble. Its weird cus he can be really sweet and mature sometimes. And minds me better then his father. He is a smart kid too. He loves video games and is mostly what he wants to do and mind you he is gifted in this department. He is very sneaky and he lies constantly. Were very worried for him. I dont know if he can even help it. HELP

 

[DaisyFace]

Hello and Welcome--

First things first, if that is a picture of your children, you may want to remove it for privacy's sake...

Second - can you give us a bit more information about your kids? Have any of them been tested for anything - such as ADHD, Autism etc ? Have IEPs in school? Taking any kinds of medications?

 

[MyDefiantBoys]

Hello and Welcome--

First things first, if that is a picture of your children, you may want to remove it for privacy's sake...

Second - can you give us a bit more information about your kids? Have any of them been tested for anything - such as ADHD, Autism etc ? Have IEPs in school? Taking any kinds of medications?

Not neccasary...picture is old and small and very distorted. Im not worried one bit. The 7 year old has had therapy and been seen by a psychiatrist....didnt work....medications didnt work. She never diagnosed him. She was caught up in her own life and didnt do a very good job. His mom lives in Canada, she ran off with him when he was an infant and dad got full custody when he was almost 3. He hasnt seen her since but does talk to her occasionally. A lot more lately. He has a food phobia and I think uses food as a form of control. My 3 yr old is seeing several therapist and is waiting for a diagnosis when he is old enough of they are sure adhd. He talks so fast that you can barely understand him and rarely is still. Always up running around. Both are soooooo needy. 3 yr old I can understand but 7 yr old is extra needy understand that but sometimes it to the extreme.

 

[MyDefiantBoys]

Hello and Welcome--

First things first, if that is a picture of your children, you may want to remove it for privacy's sake...

Second - can you give us a bit more information about your kids? Have any of them been tested for anything - such as ADHD, Autism etc ? Have IEPs in school? Taking any kinds of medications?

My 3 yr old does have an IFSP, (indivdual family service plan)

 

[Farmwife]

Your 7 year old reminds me a lot of my own difficult child (now 16) when he was 9 or so. If you are having trouble with discipline at such a young age your intuition that something else may be going on could be well founded. If you have been firm, fair and consistant most kids will respond. My difficult child never responded to anything whether it be a punishment or even a reward based sytem, he just never tried to earn rewards. *sigh*

It is possible that the 3 year old picks up on some behaviors from the older sibling. Of course it is also possible he has his own mixed bag of "tricks".

Not the easiest kids to parent I am sure, were all here for various reasons. Just be glad you are starting out so early. Although my own difficult child may have always needed some extra nudges I know in hindsight so much of it would have gone better had we gotten answers and help back when he was 9 and started acting out in small ways. Even though you sound worn out you have a lot of childhood left to get these two sorted out as best as possible. In my case I have a sometimes wonderful, sometimes beastly teen who will be an adult (and beyond my help) very soon. I wish I wish I wish I had the years left that you do!! (and he makes me crazy too...)

Things will get better for you, it just takes time.

Knowing if they have certain diagnosis will help everyone offer support and suggestions. If you do not have a good solid diagnosis or one that isn't working well most here will suggest getting a neuropsychologist evaluation. It is a big test, it is a big wait to get usually and it isn't cheap if you have bad insurance. (some agencies help if you know who to ask) HOWEVER, it is a treasure trove of in depth information about your kids, it explains the "why" of their behavior. It isn't a magic pill, it won't solve everything but until you know exactly where you are coming from it's hard to know where to go.

Welcome to the group. Everyone here is very nice and a great help. They have supported me and saved my sanity plenty of times. It's nice to find people who get what we are going through.

 

[WearyWoman]

First things, first . . . (((hugs)))!

Well, you've found the right virtual place to connect with other parents who understand. I have been a foster parent to many children and am the adoptive mom to two boys with special needs as well. Over the years, I've learned a whole lot about a variety of disorders that affect behavior. I know you're looking for answers, but remember that answers only come after asking questions - LOTS of them.

Think about your son's environment, genetics, and development. Write down anything that comes to mind. Consider journaling what's going on with his present behavior, including what happened before and after any incidents, the people involved, or even the foods he may have eaten. Maybe you'll discover some patterns.

While not exhaustive by any means, here are some ideas of issues that can cause behavior challenges in children:

• ADHD
• Autism Spectrum Disorders
• Attachment Disorders
• Food Allergies
• Sensory Integration Disorders
• Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders
• Prenatal Exposure to Drugs
• Mood Disorders
• Seizures
• Brain Injuries
• Mental Illness

I've learned the hard way not to rule out any possibilities too quickly. To complicate matters more, a number of conditions may overlap and occur together (comorbidity). A multi-disciplinary evaluation would be very helpful as a starting point with your son. If you believe your child's behavior is beyond anything typical, don't ignore your intuition.

The sooner you can determine the likely cause(s), the sooner you can get him more targeted services.

We're all here for you as you work through the process of finding help for your family.

 

[HaoZi]

My kiddo rarely hears from her father, and the sense of abandonment, sadness and anger add to her existing issues a lot.

 

[KTMom91]

Welcome to the board. My daughter has also dealt (and is still dealing, in my opinion) her father's abandonment of her after we divorced when she was 4.