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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 79013" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>HI Stacey & Welcome</p><p></p><p>My son was diagnosed with severe ADHD. He's 17 and out of our home now due to his behavior. Looking back I would ask myself from time to time if I was sure I covered all the bases for a correct diagnosis, to get the correct help or medication. I can honestly say without a shred of doubt I did. I was methodical in my task and still, little results. I have been told to think what my son would be like WITHOUT the interventions. THAT makes me cringe. </p><p></p><p>My son got a psychiatric evaluation from a prominent psychiatrist to begin with. Then a few tests in school to see where he fit academically. With each suggestion, book or medications trial I was hopeful and optimistic that I would find the ONE thing, a shot, a pill, a doctor, a buddy, a wish he would change. He's been in therapy since he was 6 years old. He hasn't changed much, and in some ways he's gotten worse. </p><p></p><p>The one thing that DID help us tremendously was being in family therapy. He went 1 hour a week whether he participated or just sat in the docs office and stared at the wall. We went 1 hr. a week as a family. And eventually I just went on my own to learn how to be a better parent who meant what she said. With this difficult child I've had a lifetime of heartache, broken dreams and health issues. </p><p></p><p>Scared yet? Don't be. None of us here can tell you what is wrong with your son. That's a journey you'll have to travel with him. It could just be a dietary issue, an allergy, he's angry about something he can't let go of, he's genetically predisposed to be like he is. Don't beat yourself up. </p><p></p><p>IF there was one parent on this board that has been through life with a difficult child and not felt guilty for finding the cure I want to shake their hand. Labels only get you help with your child in school and possibly with services to support your family and give them a break from time to time. </p><p></p><p>A diagnosis does not mean a cure. I wish this board had been around when my son was younger and someone had told me that in the beginning. ADHD isn't like the flu. You don't find out whats wrong and get a shot or a pill. A diagnosis is only a suggestion of what could be wrong and a better handle on which way for the family identify and contain the stressors, situations that will cause acting out, and potential stock in Kleenex. </p><p></p><p>Your journey with your son is just beginning. If I had one single best bit of advice for a newbie it would be to get into therapy NOW and learn how to be the type of parent you're going to have to be to successfully parent this child and not let guilt ruin your relationship, marriage and life. </p><p></p><p>The last three years in therapy have been the absolute best thing for me and my relationship with my son. He however chooses to continue making bad choices, but I don't feel the need to own them or continually be in knots about how he behaves in public or at home. I guess that's the best advice from me to you - that and USE this boards resources. There are a ton of archived fles, material, questions are asked here and everyone has their own take on the What would you do questions. I love it. I may just hear the answer I didn't want to - but there's lots of wisdom here. </p><p></p><p>Anyway - welcome to the family - we're an odd little group but we know each other here. </p><p></p><p>Hugs </p><p>TLR</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 79013, member: 4964"] HI Stacey & Welcome My son was diagnosed with severe ADHD. He's 17 and out of our home now due to his behavior. Looking back I would ask myself from time to time if I was sure I covered all the bases for a correct diagnosis, to get the correct help or medication. I can honestly say without a shred of doubt I did. I was methodical in my task and still, little results. I have been told to think what my son would be like WITHOUT the interventions. THAT makes me cringe. My son got a psychiatric evaluation from a prominent psychiatrist to begin with. Then a few tests in school to see where he fit academically. With each suggestion, book or medications trial I was hopeful and optimistic that I would find the ONE thing, a shot, a pill, a doctor, a buddy, a wish he would change. He's been in therapy since he was 6 years old. He hasn't changed much, and in some ways he's gotten worse. The one thing that DID help us tremendously was being in family therapy. He went 1 hour a week whether he participated or just sat in the docs office and stared at the wall. We went 1 hr. a week as a family. And eventually I just went on my own to learn how to be a better parent who meant what she said. With this difficult child I've had a lifetime of heartache, broken dreams and health issues. Scared yet? Don't be. None of us here can tell you what is wrong with your son. That's a journey you'll have to travel with him. It could just be a dietary issue, an allergy, he's angry about something he can't let go of, he's genetically predisposed to be like he is. Don't beat yourself up. IF there was one parent on this board that has been through life with a difficult child and not felt guilty for finding the cure I want to shake their hand. Labels only get you help with your child in school and possibly with services to support your family and give them a break from time to time. A diagnosis does not mean a cure. I wish this board had been around when my son was younger and someone had told me that in the beginning. ADHD isn't like the flu. You don't find out whats wrong and get a shot or a pill. A diagnosis is only a suggestion of what could be wrong and a better handle on which way for the family identify and contain the stressors, situations that will cause acting out, and potential stock in Kleenex. Your journey with your son is just beginning. If I had one single best bit of advice for a newbie it would be to get into therapy NOW and learn how to be the type of parent you're going to have to be to successfully parent this child and not let guilt ruin your relationship, marriage and life. The last three years in therapy have been the absolute best thing for me and my relationship with my son. He however chooses to continue making bad choices, but I don't feel the need to own them or continually be in knots about how he behaves in public or at home. I guess that's the best advice from me to you - that and USE this boards resources. There are a ton of archived fles, material, questions are asked here and everyone has their own take on the What would you do questions. I love it. I may just hear the answer I didn't want to - but there's lots of wisdom here. Anyway - welcome to the family - we're an odd little group but we know each other here. Hugs TLR [/QUOTE]
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