thank you for the warm wishes on the last post i did. it's very appreciated. sorry i havent' been on it's been very busy and hectic here since we got here. i had to drive husband back to the airport today. that was rough. he extended his trip by a day. he's been awesome thru this. i gotta be honest i'm going to be lost with-o him here. he was so helpful in a lot of ways. difficult child we have a cardiologist onboard now. she's got a regular heart monitor and now they've thrown on an additional 24 hr. monitor, their doing an eco cardiogram. and we'll have the consult with-cardio guy by monday. zyprexa's working super well for her at night for sleep. totally different experience than what we saw at him in our environment. here it's a dark room, very warm due to her condition, not home with-dog's barking, husband' getting in at midnight from work etc. she's adjusting to the feeding tube. she's up to 1,800 calories a day now. god willing all these heart issues with-the heart rate will be just anxiety. her resting is so very high. she was 190 on admit. than running 150 resting, now it's down to 125 to 140 resting. i dont' know when food will be introduced yet. she's not stable yet and we're just beginning our very long leg out here. their predicting at least 2 months now living out here. the staff is great, ppl listen to me, i have let lose of reigns in a major way. i have slept each night at the ronald mcdonald house and go thru alot with-her to detatch her behavior is bizarre during that process. me, my ms i'm assuming that's what it is was non existant first out. than today it flared something awful. i have made call for therapy for me, ill get a call bk today. i need something to help ground me. what else can i say, we're out here alone it's a little creepy. first day without husband will be an adjustment time for me. we ate out, took walks when she was in school for an hr. we're already talking about our next trip to eachother. on another note if you've made it this far sooo long sorry. easy child kinda lost it when we left. we went on facebook to leave her a message and there were pics posted of her smoking cigarettes beer in hand with- a boy same in our home with a ton of other ppl. yea disappointing to say the least. we both planted her, husband was mad at her bigtime. she cursed us both out via text stated she will not live there with-him while i'm gone etc. a real nightmare. so we aren't sure what will await him when he lands. i have to trust hell do the right thing and handle her accordingly. i hope everyone's well. i'll have time to catch up once i find a routine for myself which is KEY so i dont' lose my mind.