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High School Discipline Drama - What Would You Do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 386026" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p></p><p>here are some thoughts</p><p>I am not sure about the school but I generally even questioned the value of suspensions in helping challenging kids acquire lacking skills and learn to trust teachers. I would try not to mention the principal , but mentioned he was threatened etc , not spoken to in respectful language - when we are trying to help kids and not appear to act out of revenge we need respectful language</p><p></p><p>The way I would go about things is to do Collaborative problem solving CPS with the school , first acknowledging the school concerns and then yours.</p><p></p><p>We appreciate the need of the school to follow through with its dscipline plan as a consequence for JT's unacceptable behavior</p><p>However we have the following concerns - I like to end of with a question - when we ask the questions we are in control of the meeting</p><p></p><p></p><p>would you not agree that consequences should serve as a deterrent or holding a kid accountable and not be a form of retribution and vengeneance ?</p><p>The message we and JT are getting is that the request for added consequences has got nothing to do with helping JT but more about vengenance , don't you think so?</p><p>we want JT to reflect on the consequences of his actions on other people or do we want thim to just think about what's in it for him , what will be done to him and even worse the school is just out to get him , and now waiting for him to make a mistake , would you not agree that we should be focusing on helping JT , a kid who is behaviorally challenged , working with him to come up with a better plan rather than dishing out more punishments</p><p>Would you not agree that kids will do well when they feel their teachers are being fair and have their interests at heart ?</p><p>it is not the lesson we are trying to teach JT that matters but what is the message he is taking home ? </p><p>If we look at what happened , it was not a deliberate and planned attempt to hurt the other boy but JT lack of skills to judge when the goofing went from being fun and not seeing that the other kid was not enjoying what was happening to him ? How are consequences supposed to help him acquire these skills ?</p><p>I am not sure what's behind the principal threatening JT about other kids picking on this boy and JT being held responsible ? is it because the other boy may be harassed now for snitching on JT.</p><p>Do you think the additional punishments ( me = any punishment ) is impacting positively on relationships between kids and repairing the relationship between JT and the other kid ?</p><p>Maybe this has more to do about the problematic nature of punishments and suspensions is that kids don't see this as a good way to solve problems and improve relationships .</p><p>Instead of forcing JT to apololgize before the whole team so he can be humiliated would it not be better for team spirit and comaradery that we ask the team how they can JT make amends and repair the relationship with the other kid ( not asking what should be done to JT)</p><p>Don't you think that JT was showing moral initiative by going on his own accord and apologizing also to the other kid's dad ?</p><p>While I can appreciate that the dad was upset but would you not agree that his response was inappropriate - is the message that we solve problems by encourage kids to hit back instead of talking it through acceptable</p><p></p><p>I would like teachers and principals to reflect on what Alfie Kohn says</p><p></p><p>Imagine that your students are invited to respond to a questionnaire several years after leaving the school. They";re asked to indicate whether they agree or disagree and how strongly with statements such as: Even when I wasn't proud of how I acted, even when I didn't do the homework, even when I got low test scores or didn't seem interested in what was being taught, I knew that [insert your name here] still cared about me.</p><p></p><p>How would you like your students to answer that sort of question? How do you think they will answer it?</p><p></p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 386026, member: 10"] Hi, here are some thoughts I am not sure about the school but I generally even questioned the value of suspensions in helping challenging kids acquire lacking skills and learn to trust teachers. I would try not to mention the principal , but mentioned he was threatened etc , not spoken to in respectful language - when we are trying to help kids and not appear to act out of revenge we need respectful language The way I would go about things is to do Collaborative problem solving CPS with the school , first acknowledging the school concerns and then yours. We appreciate the need of the school to follow through with its dscipline plan as a consequence for JT's unacceptable behavior However we have the following concerns - I like to end of with a question - when we ask the questions we are in control of the meeting would you not agree that consequences should serve as a deterrent or holding a kid accountable and not be a form of retribution and vengeneance ? The message we and JT are getting is that the request for added consequences has got nothing to do with helping JT but more about vengenance , don't you think so? we want JT to reflect on the consequences of his actions on other people or do we want thim to just think about what's in it for him , what will be done to him and even worse the school is just out to get him , and now waiting for him to make a mistake , would you not agree that we should be focusing on helping JT , a kid who is behaviorally challenged , working with him to come up with a better plan rather than dishing out more punishments Would you not agree that kids will do well when they feel their teachers are being fair and have their interests at heart ? it is not the lesson we are trying to teach JT that matters but what is the message he is taking home ? If we look at what happened , it was not a deliberate and planned attempt to hurt the other boy but JT lack of skills to judge when the goofing went from being fun and not seeing that the other kid was not enjoying what was happening to him ? How are consequences supposed to help him acquire these skills ? I am not sure what's behind the principal threatening JT about other kids picking on this boy and JT being held responsible ? is it because the other boy may be harassed now for snitching on JT. Do you think the additional punishments ( me = any punishment ) is impacting positively on relationships between kids and repairing the relationship between JT and the other kid ? Maybe this has more to do about the problematic nature of punishments and suspensions is that kids don't see this as a good way to solve problems and improve relationships . Instead of forcing JT to apololgize before the whole team so he can be humiliated would it not be better for team spirit and comaradery that we ask the team how they can JT make amends and repair the relationship with the other kid ( not asking what should be done to JT) Don't you think that JT was showing moral initiative by going on his own accord and apologizing also to the other kid's dad ? While I can appreciate that the dad was upset but would you not agree that his response was inappropriate - is the message that we solve problems by encourage kids to hit back instead of talking it through acceptable I would like teachers and principals to reflect on what Alfie Kohn says Imagine that your students are invited to respond to a questionnaire several years after leaving the school. They";re asked to indicate whether they agree or disagree and how strongly with statements such as: Even when I wasn't proud of how I acted, even when I didn't do the homework, even when I got low test scores or didn't seem interested in what was being taught, I knew that [insert your name here] still cared about me. How would you like your students to answer that sort of question? How do you think they will answer it? Allan [/QUOTE]
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