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High School Discipline Drama - What Would You Do?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 386030" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>What he did IS disturbing, and the school handbook may call for stronger punishment than he received. I think your idea that they are blaming one child for an entire team thinking hazing is okay is an accurate assessment of the situation. It is why you need to role play with JT about how to protect himself. I am pretty sure that the other boy will likely try to make trouble for your son. You need to push the principal to deal with the entire culture of hazing (the coach KNEW about it, it went on for far too long for him to NOT have known about it) and not to just punish your child and expect it to stop and punish your child again if someone else continues to haze others. It won't be easy - the temptation to blame it on one "bad" kid is great because it lets the coach and principal off the hook. The coach and principal need to explain why this has been allowed to go on for years and why nothing was done in the past other than talking to the kids when someone complained.</p><p> </p><p>They also need to explain why your son could even THINK that he would be hurt so bad he would need stitches if he spoke up about being hazed. THAT is the REAL issue - not the one teacher's kid getting hazed!!!</p><p> </p><p>I think stopping the sport for the season is a reasonable response to hazing - but NOT just for ONE student. The entire team needs to be given some consequences because they have ALL been participating. Have you asked your son why he chose to haze the other boy, and why that day? Ask him who told him to do that to the other boy, who expected him to do it? It is RARE for only one boy to be hazing another. Usually there is a group of boys (or girls) who all participate in the hazing, not just one boy doing it to another. </p><p> </p><p>Why were the other kids who participated (even if it was just laughing and encouraging your difficult child to go on with it) not punished? I would push JT to tell you which other boys were there laughing and egging him on and then take that list to the coach and principal. Until ALL the boys are taught not to do this, and given stiff consequences for ANY act of hazing, even if they only participated by laughing and not telling others to stop, this won't ever change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 386030, member: 1233"] What he did IS disturbing, and the school handbook may call for stronger punishment than he received. I think your idea that they are blaming one child for an entire team thinking hazing is okay is an accurate assessment of the situation. It is why you need to role play with JT about how to protect himself. I am pretty sure that the other boy will likely try to make trouble for your son. You need to push the principal to deal with the entire culture of hazing (the coach KNEW about it, it went on for far too long for him to NOT have known about it) and not to just punish your child and expect it to stop and punish your child again if someone else continues to haze others. It won't be easy - the temptation to blame it on one "bad" kid is great because it lets the coach and principal off the hook. The coach and principal need to explain why this has been allowed to go on for years and why nothing was done in the past other than talking to the kids when someone complained. They also need to explain why your son could even THINK that he would be hurt so bad he would need stitches if he spoke up about being hazed. THAT is the REAL issue - not the one teacher's kid getting hazed!!! I think stopping the sport for the season is a reasonable response to hazing - but NOT just for ONE student. The entire team needs to be given some consequences because they have ALL been participating. Have you asked your son why he chose to haze the other boy, and why that day? Ask him who told him to do that to the other boy, who expected him to do it? It is RARE for only one boy to be hazing another. Usually there is a group of boys (or girls) who all participate in the hazing, not just one boy doing it to another. Why were the other kids who participated (even if it was just laughing and encouraging your difficult child to go on with it) not punished? I would push JT to tell you which other boys were there laughing and egging him on and then take that list to the coach and principal. Until ALL the boys are taught not to do this, and given stiff consequences for ANY act of hazing, even if they only participated by laughing and not telling others to stop, this won't ever change. [/QUOTE]
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