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High School Discipline Drama - What Would You Do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 386087" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Bad behaviour happened. It happened because it has been modelled as apparently acceptable, but it slid below the radar. It no longer is below the radar.</p><p></p><p>They have chosen a culprit. Not really fair, but they need to realise this is long-standing and therefore part of their problem.</p><p></p><p>But let's put that aside for now...</p><p></p><p>JT did a bad thing. He admits it. He was given a two day suspension. Whether this is considered lenient or not is not the issue. The school learned of his criime, gave a punishment. Her served it. Now, someone wants to up the ante. Too late. And it sends a very bad message, that your punishment can be adapted and changed even if nothing more is done wrong, just because someone connected to the victim is not happy.</p><p></p><p>In the legal system, if a perpetrator is sentenced and the victim (or the DA on behalf of the victim) feels the punishment is too lenient, they can appeal. But in this situation, both sides get to put the case. The perpetrator gets to also say why he feels things are severe enough.</p><p></p><p>What is happening here is not justice - it is entirely one way.</p><p></p><p>I would be writing a letter to the school.</p><p></p><p>Two issues - </p><p></p><p>1) the hazing has been going on for years and despite being reported to the coach when it happened to JT, nothing was done. OK, now the school knows. They need to take on the whole team and teach them that this is unacceptable. Otherwise it will keep happening and only the occasional kid will get scapegoated. But it won't stop it long-term. This needs to be stopped and this is the only way - a team intervention.</p><p></p><p>AND</p><p></p><p>2) This situation - JT did the wrong thing. He admits this. A punishment was given. it was endured. it is over. There should ne nothing more, especially since he of his own volition went and apologised (which was not in the punishment requirements). He now seems to be getting punished further, beyond what was originally laid down. And to threaten him (including with inappropriate language) that if anything goes wrong for this other kid, even if JT is not responsible, that JT will be blamed - inappropriate and in fact is an example of exactly the kind of bullying behaviour that started it all.</p><p></p><p>To change the problem, the culture has to change. I would also in your letter request a sit-down meeting with all parties, to resolve this. The kid's dad feels angry (understandably) but is abusing his position of power. That is also unhealthy.</p><p></p><p>In your letter, make it clear that you and JT accept that he did the wrong thing and it was right he was punished. That is not the issue now.</p><p></p><p>The aim of punishment is to bring about learning and change. But the lesson learned is being undermined, and nothing seems to have changed. A learning opportunity for the school, the class and the staff is about to get swept away in the desire for revenge. Unhealthy.</p><p></p><p>You are right to be concerned.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 386087, member: 1991"] Bad behaviour happened. It happened because it has been modelled as apparently acceptable, but it slid below the radar. It no longer is below the radar. They have chosen a culprit. Not really fair, but they need to realise this is long-standing and therefore part of their problem. But let's put that aside for now... JT did a bad thing. He admits it. He was given a two day suspension. Whether this is considered lenient or not is not the issue. The school learned of his criime, gave a punishment. Her served it. Now, someone wants to up the ante. Too late. And it sends a very bad message, that your punishment can be adapted and changed even if nothing more is done wrong, just because someone connected to the victim is not happy. In the legal system, if a perpetrator is sentenced and the victim (or the DA on behalf of the victim) feels the punishment is too lenient, they can appeal. But in this situation, both sides get to put the case. The perpetrator gets to also say why he feels things are severe enough. What is happening here is not justice - it is entirely one way. I would be writing a letter to the school. Two issues - 1) the hazing has been going on for years and despite being reported to the coach when it happened to JT, nothing was done. OK, now the school knows. They need to take on the whole team and teach them that this is unacceptable. Otherwise it will keep happening and only the occasional kid will get scapegoated. But it won't stop it long-term. This needs to be stopped and this is the only way - a team intervention. AND 2) This situation - JT did the wrong thing. He admits this. A punishment was given. it was endured. it is over. There should ne nothing more, especially since he of his own volition went and apologised (which was not in the punishment requirements). He now seems to be getting punished further, beyond what was originally laid down. And to threaten him (including with inappropriate language) that if anything goes wrong for this other kid, even if JT is not responsible, that JT will be blamed - inappropriate and in fact is an example of exactly the kind of bullying behaviour that started it all. To change the problem, the culture has to change. I would also in your letter request a sit-down meeting with all parties, to resolve this. The kid's dad feels angry (understandably) but is abusing his position of power. That is also unhealthy. In your letter, make it clear that you and JT accept that he did the wrong thing and it was right he was punished. That is not the issue now. The aim of punishment is to bring about learning and change. But the lesson learned is being undermined, and nothing seems to have changed. A learning opportunity for the school, the class and the staff is about to get swept away in the desire for revenge. Unhealthy. You are right to be concerned. Marg [/QUOTE]
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