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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 419179"><p>Nancy she lives about 25 minutes from us I think. Definitely need a car to get here.</p><p></p><p>I just talked to the sober house person. Very interesting talking to someone who used to be an addict. His point was an addict will always manipulate and always try to come up with an alternative plan to avoid having to really face themselves. His suggestion is that I do call this mom and if we can put a stop to the alternative plan then Gabe will have to face himself there. Well maybe it was stupid of me to do this but I texted his girlfriend and asked her what was going on and that I was concerned. The next thing my difficult child called me swearing at me.... hung up on me. So I tried calling her and she did not answer and he called me again. So I had an argument with him and am now just going to leave it be...... I tried. I have no faith that this will work out. I told him he was on his own. I need to detach big time but darn it is so hard. I am now just a puddle of tears. I know he doesn't want me talking to her because he is not telling her the real truth. I bet anything she does not know he has relapsed. Easy to manipulate people when they live in a vacuum. His claim is that he has been working on this plan for a month with his therapists... well I know they do not think this is a good plan. Anyway I suspect we will not hear from him for a good long while and I am going to need to get used to that. I probably should have gone with my gut and just stayed out of it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 419179"] Nancy she lives about 25 minutes from us I think. Definitely need a car to get here. I just talked to the sober house person. Very interesting talking to someone who used to be an addict. His point was an addict will always manipulate and always try to come up with an alternative plan to avoid having to really face themselves. His suggestion is that I do call this mom and if we can put a stop to the alternative plan then Gabe will have to face himself there. Well maybe it was stupid of me to do this but I texted his girlfriend and asked her what was going on and that I was concerned. The next thing my difficult child called me swearing at me.... hung up on me. So I tried calling her and she did not answer and he called me again. So I had an argument with him and am now just going to leave it be...... I tried. I have no faith that this will work out. I told him he was on his own. I need to detach big time but darn it is so hard. I am now just a puddle of tears. I know he doesn't want me talking to her because he is not telling her the real truth. I bet anything she does not know he has relapsed. Easy to manipulate people when they live in a vacuum. His claim is that he has been working on this plan for a month with his therapists... well I know they do not think this is a good plan. Anyway I suspect we will not hear from him for a good long while and I am going to need to get used to that. I probably should have gone with my gut and just stayed out of it. [/QUOTE]
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