Holding hands - a victory

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TPaul, Oct 8, 2009.

  1. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    Hey Everyone,
    Had to post about something that happened with Levi yesterday after we got back into town from his Psychiatrist visit. We needed to pick up some bread before we headed home, so we pulled into the necessary evil, Wally World. Parked at the garden entrance because all the close parking by the main doors where full and it looked as if I was going to pour down raining. The garden center is on the opposite end from the food center. We where walking down the back aisle talking when Levi reached out and took my hand as we where walking and talking!!! He has not did that in so many years, (ok, sniffing back tears here) and has not been affectionate like he used to be, or really like any affection from us.

    I was melting in side when he did this, wanting to both cry and to shout for joy!!! all the while just walking and talking like there is nothing different about what he has just done. It truly seemed like one of those mill stone, defining moments when you feel like something truly special has happened after such a long time of struggle.!!

    He has been more open to kidding around, a little horse play and being tickled. He used to love for me to do that when he was little but has shied away from it over the last few years.

    That just reminds me that even though we walk down a road sometimes with our children through heart aches and struggles, that there is sun shine at the end of every road. Sometimes we just have to wander through the clouds until a ray gets to break its way through.

    Hoping you have a ray of sun shine day today too,
    T. Paul
     
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Awww....

    You know, sometimes I think we're lucky, as parents of challenging kids, because we see the value in these little things.

    What typical parent can tell you the last time their kid held their hand??? But that little gesture, to you, meant the world.

    Thanks for sharing!
     
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Okay, that got me! Eyes are misting... somebody get me a tissue! I'm glad he gave you such a happy moment :) When we spend so much time dealing with problems and battles and issues, a simple, normal gesture like that can seem like such a joyous occasion.
     
  4. hoobear

    hoobear Guest

    It's amazing how special those "normal" moments can be, isn't it? I had a similar experience this weekend when my son and I talked about the food chain without mentioning any video game characters:) Amazing! Good wishes for continued calm.

    Holly
     
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    That's so great...thanks for sharing!
     
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    That is wonderful!

    I tell people that there are joys in our kids too. We see life differently when viewed through their eyes.

    difficult child 3 was non-verbal for the first few years and also non-aware. So by the time he finally "got it" about birthdays and Christmas, it was really special. difficult child 3's birthday is on a special day for Australia, it's a bit like a US kid whose birthday is on 4 July. We had to go to the city on his birthday when he was 6 (the older kids were performing in a school public street parade) and we did all the Sydney touristy things that day. Wherever we went it wascelebration. Balloons, streamers, party atmosphere everywhere. We told difficult child 3, "It's your birthday. All Sydney is saying, 'Happy Birthday, difficult child 3'."
    For the whole day difficult child 3 had a huge grin on his face and told everybody, "It's my birthday!"
    It was the first time he had ever 'got' birthdays. And we got to see and share the dawn of his awareness.

    Marg
     
  7. lizzie09

    lizzie09 lizzie

    That just reminds me that even though we walk down a road sometimes with our children through heart aches and struggles, that there is sun shine at the end of every road. Sometimes we just have to wander through the clouds until a ray gets to break its way through.

    Hoping you have a ray of sun shine day today too,
    T. Paul


    Such a beautiful thought...it made my day,,hope you have many more like
    this
     
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Every now & then our difficult children pull us back to a more gentle time. T.Paul, I love hearing that Levi grabbed your hand & walked with you, just talking.

    I'm smiling as I read & then reread this. Thanks for sharing this gentle moment between father & son.
     
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhhhhhhhhh, that's wonderful!
    Thank you for sharing. I hope you have many more hand-holding opportunities throughout his life.
     
  10. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    It is special when you can share a moment like this and know that there are others that truly feel the tug on the hearts strings that such things have in store for those that face a daily challenge.

    We as a group of parents and spouses all have times of struggle and heartache, and we as a group also take time to notice those little things so many others would not give a moments notice of. It makes them all the more special to each and every one of us.

    Truly heart felt hugs of encourament and hoping each and everyone of you have a heart strings moment soon with you difficult child!!!

    T.Paul
     
  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    That is so nice and warming to read... big huge smile.

    I was beaming on Monday when K, went to Horse Therapy, did her homework, took a shower, read before bed and never once become Oppositional!!! To top it off at the end of the evening her Teacher sen me an e-mail that she had a wonderful day!

    We have NEVER, EVER had a day like this. I got teary when husband and talked about it.

    I love it when we can share these things with other here.
     
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thank you so much for sharing this. It made my night! I'm glad you were able to experience such a nice moment with your son.
     
  13. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    Totoro,
    So glad all of you had a great day, aren't they just the very best!!!

    Smiles for you
    T. Paul
     
  14. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    Yeah, happy happy for you! I've had that moment also! HUGE!

    (I bet it was happy for Levi too, even if he doesn't know it quite yet!)
     
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