Holding onto anger..............

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tanya M, Jun 9, 2015.

  1. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    There are times when anger is warranted but when we hold onto it we only hurt ourselves.
    Anger is an emotion, feel it, process it, then let it go.

    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    The best way, in my opinion, to get over anger is to seperate from the event or people who trigger your anger buttons. If we have great self-control and can be baited and reminded of terrible memories and still hold it in and NOT get angry inside, then I guess I think it's not a bad idea to engage in places and people who once bothered you.

    I am not there yet. I may never be there. I need to disconnect.

    Anger is nobody's friend. Many people, including myself, have said things in anger they regret and once it is out there it can not be taken back.

    Take good care of yourself and hang with positive places and people alll you can. Maybe it's just me (I really don't know) but it makes a big difference in my life as to whether I am angry or peaceful. I don't do anger well so I am going to take my therapist's advice, and my own good sense, and don't put myself in a position to get overly upset.

    Feeling Peaceful Now With My Quiet World and Non-Drama Peeps,
    SomewhereOutThere and life is good again

    P.S.--I feel it is easier to let go of the anger when you do not hang around in any way with your triggers, be they people, places or things. We decide who we want in our life, where we want to live our life, and what to have in our lives. I think it is easier to let go of past anger, when the triggers are truly in the past. JMO.
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  3. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    I have read that anger is a signal to us that something is wrong. So it's a healthy sign when we feel anger, but I think the question is what do we do with it. Not letting it be destructive to us or to other people is the question.

    I think sitting with it, feeling it, letting time go by, waiting...then taking it back out, turning it around, examining it from all sides, when we are calmer...seeing if there is any "merit" here to consider and then act upon, once the steam quits coming out of our ears...

    Most of us don't like feeling this way, so we blow off the steam very quickly OR we stuff it down and it turns into resentment and depression (anger turned inward).

    I think we have to process our anger. My father is a rageaholic. I have watched him erupt in a New York minute and make himself and everybody around him miserable, over the tiniest little thing (usually somebody questioning his authority, i.e., disagreeing with him about anything). As he is getting older, now 83, he is getting worse. I think he is very angry that his body is betraying him...and instead of dealing with THAT, and facing that, he blows up at every little thing.

    I feel sorry for him but I also don't like his behavior at all. He has no coping skills. By waiting, we are coping.
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List