Holiday Dinner

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Apr 17, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Today we combined husband's birthday and Easter dinner. Darrin's soccer game was supposed to be thrown in there somewhere too but it was canceled at the last minute.

    Nichole, boyfriend, and Aubrey came down from dayton. Nichole and Aubrey made a bunny cake and easter sugar cookies from scratch. I've got to say my youngest is turning into quite the cook/baker. husband brought katie and the kids over. We did the family easter egg hunt in PCs front yard (she lives a half block down the alley). Surprisingly enough for her tiny yard.......it took the kids quite a while to find their eggs. lol

    Then the walk back to Nana's house so us ladies could do the cooking and the grands could play. Only one hitch......easy child had told the grands they could go outside to play.......with no supervision. (never a good idea) So I had husband and Travis hovering around windows to keep an eye on them. Alex and Darrin decided tossing my flowerbed bricks looked like fun.....until papa caught them.....and his big booming papa voice nearly made them wet themselves. Time out seemed like a great idea after that. :rofl:

    Inside grown ups were having a good visit. Katie is slowly getting things she needs.....doesn't "seem" to be wasting money on things. (kids usually tell on her) Katie was happy and engaged in conversation. Grands were all thrilled to be together again with the infrequent short lasting squabbles that crop up among cousins.

    The meal turned out good. But seems it takes only 1 difficult child to trigger an entire table full of kids to stop eating. :sigh: Alex put on such a performance due to Nana requiring he ate one large bite (tablespoon size) of everything served that it triggered Aubrey, Darrin and Brandon into not wanting to eat. Parents backed Nana up. Nana supervised eating as Nana has all the tricks down pat. Aubrey worked herself up to the point of neither eating nor getting dessert. (leftovers were sent home for her) Alex I stood firm with the no dessert if you don't take at least a big bite of everything......and he finally did. He discovered that he loves green-bean casserole and that broccoli won't kill him. lol Once Alex bit the bullet, Darrin decided to be a trooper.....and he did the same, earning himself dessert too. Kayla is never a problem.

    And I've got to say I'm stunned. Evan.......you know the all out holy terror difficult child??........Was GOOD! Now husband tells me he wasn't very good outside.......but c'mon Alex and Darrin were causing trouble outside so..... But inside and during the egg hunt........very very good. He helped me shame Alex into eating to set a good example for the "little kids" because he was sitting there good as gold eating up all his food and not making a mess. He had so much fun looking for the E eggs during the hunt. Was so cute.

    Both granddaughters were dressed to the nines. lmao And if Aubrey could get any more enthusiastic about everyday ordinary things....let alone special occasions?.......the girl would explode! :rofl: She was soooooooooooooo proud of the bunny cake she helped Mommy make.

    I was having such a horrid day this morning. Anything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Aubrey's new thing is that Nichole has Nana's number on speed dial in case of emergency and Aubrey forgets to call 911. (then she can speed dial nana instead and nana can call for her) So Aubrey practices calling me everyday. It's so funny, I always know it's her because there is like 30 seconds of silence on the line before she bursts out with NANA!! GUESS WHAT? Which is followed by "my daddy fish puts the baby fishes into his mouth when they fall out of the bubble nest and he swims back to the bubbles and spits them out!" Or "I decorated my hermit crabs house today and it's sooooooooo pretty!" And trust me, it's every detail of her day told to me with such exuberance that it always leaves me grinning from ear to ear if not my sides aching from laughing my head off. (not to her of course, cuz she's serious don'tcha know)

    Brandon decided to be papa's boy today. And poor Conner couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry as he's cutting top teeth.

    Exhausting but genuine, basically uneventful family fun. A good holiday gathering.

    What made it better? Not a peep about M from any of katie's kids or katie. They didn't even ask why he wasn't at the dinner ect. Nothing. Like the man didn't exist. Blissful. Seems her kids are slowly beginning to realize they can survive without M. Evan is having issues adjusting to the apartment. His whole life they've either lived in a 1 room motel room or shelters. He's terrified to sleep in his room he shares with alex........katie's trying to get him to stay in his bed, it's not working so well.

    Nichole invited katie to the girls makeover session......issue is a sitter for the kids, so no clue if she'll be able to make it or not. And she brought some sheets for the pull out sofa bed katie has. I donated some old window sheers Nichole had used in her bedroom when she lived at home.

    But M is not out of the picture. He literally just called here looking for katie using her cell phone. Bleh bleh bleh.

    Oh well, at least I didn't have to put up with him today.
     
  2. tawnya

    tawnya New Member

    Sounds like a great day!
     
  3. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    It sounds like a wonderful family holiday dinner! I imagine you must be exhausted by now!

    You know, I have a feeling that Katie's kids will continue to surprise you as they adjust to a more normal lifestyle and having a place of their own to live. At this point, it's hard to tell what issues they really have and what issues may have been brought on by moving around and changing schools all the time, the lack of discipline, the neglect, and living in a shelter for so long.

    And it's wonderful that none of them seemed to miss M! He probably thinks you moved Easter dinner up a week just to fake him out and keep him away from it! Heehee!
     
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Actually, I'm beginning to see a few issues as the kids begin to relax more.

    One that really bugs me.........is that M has attempted to "train" Alex to be just like him. I know this is true not only from many of Alex's actions/attitudes but M fully admitted it. Unfortunately we're not talking good character traits here or good behaviors. Seems M has Alex convinced that showing gangsta "signs" is not only cool but funny. Problem is, the boy does it at school.....or around other kids.......especially certain kids who have wandered into town from cincy or dayton........(and we do have some) can get him brutally beaten up. And even if those kids don't see it, could get him beaten up by our rural tough farm kids who neither think such things cute nor intimidating nor cool. Alex, of course, who's social skills are no where near his age group is innocently copying his dad. ugh This is only one of many things. But hopefully he gets a chance to learn more appropriate behavior in the future. He does have the ability and the desire depending on who he is dealing with. Katie couldn't get him convinced to do the taste everything big bite deal no matter what she tried. I slipped the ol' guilt trip.......look how you've got the little kids acting routine.......and because it was me......he suddenly ate his food. Didn't just taste it, ate it.

    Evan, I have to say is surprising me lately. He's become quite affectionate, especially with me. Both boys are eager to please, especially with me. lol (but that's always the way with grandparents) Evan seems to be actively looking for guidance/acceptance....and it's gearing him to more appropriate behavior. Can't say if Katie is seeing it at home......but we certainly have been. With M not around 99 percent of past behavior issues with Evan have vanished.

    Kayla........is simply enjoying being a kid. Without M in the picture......there is no more Kayla watch your brothers.......no more brothers treating her like crud under their shoe. Ok there are some issues with Alex going into her room when he's not supposed to.......but I told Katie in front of Alex that Cinderfella duty (especially cleaning the toilets) was enough to cure Travis of that one.

    Katie is constantly seeking both advice and reinforcement with the kids. I have no trouble giving her reinforcement. But I'm leery of giving too much advice. One because I'm not comfortable doing so with my adult kids......I've done a rather good job training myself to keep my mouth shut. Two because while if those kids were living with me I'd just expect them to follow rules and respect family members......and would just do whatever needed to be done to see that they did, as I did while they stayed here..........That's a far cry from trying to tell a parent how to turn from non active parenting (oh c'mon there was no parenting going on at all) to actively parenting her kids. Just since she moved into the apartment I've lost count of how many times I told her to sit down and right the rules/consequences and follow through no matter what.....even when at first it doesn't seem to be working and you have kids sitting in time out every 5 mins or whatever. You know the same things we tell each other here.

    But reality? How on earth do you get 3 kids, and really the 2 older ones, to listen when their whole life you never bothered 99 percent of the time unless you totally lost it? Me? I have no clue on that one. When I'm around a child I simply expect that child to behave properly. I don't care if it's mine, a grandchild, a friend's child, a neighbor's child....or a complete stranger's child. I don't think about it........I just do when something needs to be done. I've done it so long it's automatic.

    Sounds weird but I think some of it is sheer attitude. easy child and Nichole have it. Katie......nope. We're still trying to break her of you don't have to respond every time they speak, because it drives us insane. lol They don't even have to be talking to her and she'll respond. :sigh:

    Maybe she'll learn by osmosis. Or maybe she'll be getting the Ross Greene books for xmas. lol
     
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a wonderful day!
     
  6. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Isn't it wonderful how good a little bit of normal feels? Glad it was a good day.
    Dash
     
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