Christmas is coming, and many of us know how hard the holiday season is on difficult child kids. Two years ago my sister in law decided that the family needed to go out for dinner on Christmas Eve, which is something that we had never done before. Trying to be flexible and make her happy, we agreed to go, but I asked that we eat on the early side. The reservations needed to be no later than 5:00 pm and I was not going to wait a long time to be seated. A five or ten minute wait is one thing, but I could not wait for 20 or 30 minutes for a table for 12 people with difficult child. At first she balked and made the reservations for 6:30, but after I told her that she had to change them, sister in law did. If anyone has ever gone out for dinner on Christmas Eve you can guess how it went. Service was V E R Y S L O W and difficult child had a mini meltdown at the table. Last year sister in law and brother in law again said that we needed to go out for dinner on Christmas Eve. I had a long heart to heart with my in-laws and they agreed with me that going out was not a good idea. sister in law/brother in law were angry about it because "the decision [not to go out for dinner] was made without them." Really, what they were angry about was that we weren't doing what they wanted, because had we chosen to go out they would have been fine with it. Sadly, sister in law, who I was fairly close with before this, made the choice not to really speak to me after that. If we have a family get together she's nice and chatty to me, but she doesn't talk to me outside of that. If she needs to get in touch with us she has brother in law (husband's brother) call us. She doesn't come to any of the kids activities anymore and refused to come to difficult child's confirmation last year. Whatever. I was talking to mother in law this afternoon and I asked if anybody had thought about Christmas Eve. She got quiet. I asked her what was wrong (although I already knew the answer) and she said that brother in law had actually brought up Christmas Eve to her said that he "can't understand what [my] problem is because it was so nice to everyone when we went out for dinner." Apparently, I ruined their holiday last year because I didn't want to go out for dinner that night. Honestly, I don't know what to do. I told her that I would talk to husband about it. I think she wants to do what sister in law/brother in law want to do to keep the peace. In all honestly, I wouldn't mind going out, but brother in law/sister in law refuse to understand that difficult child has limitations that a kid like easy child just doesn't have. They just think I'm a bad mother and am giving in.