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General Parenting
Holidays and difficult children... exhausting!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 329106" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Parties and family get-togeters have always done it to our kids, every time. difficult child 3 especially. He was difficult and noisy on Christmas Day, then upset andwhiny at dinner last night when he was complaining that he never gets to do what he wants to do, never gets to play with difficult child 1 like he wanted to etc. He was complaining about it so much he almost blew what opportunity he did have, to play. It was getting on mother in law's nerves which meant she began needling him more than usual which only made him worse, then it began to spiral out of control.</p><p></p><p>Today he was a bit better even though he didn't get to bed until after 3 am. But as the house emptied, the noise level dropped and it was easier for difficult child 3 to not get caught out by unexpected things.</p><p></p><p>Then it was difficult again tonight - mother in law was stirring him up over dinner, she was in one of her moods where she is deliberately contrary, saying the opposite "as a joke" and then getting upset if the person she is needling doesn't find it funny. She does this even more when she's out of balance herself, and at the moment her own health is worrying her (and us).</p><p></p><p>What I'm saying - don't be too quick to see the problem as a child coincidentally developing a new problem or having a new episode. Never underestimate the problems caused by a lot of noise, a lot of change in routine and the need to fit in with so many other people and their own wants, desires and activities. It can be a very stressful time.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 329106, member: 1991"] Parties and family get-togeters have always done it to our kids, every time. difficult child 3 especially. He was difficult and noisy on Christmas Day, then upset andwhiny at dinner last night when he was complaining that he never gets to do what he wants to do, never gets to play with difficult child 1 like he wanted to etc. He was complaining about it so much he almost blew what opportunity he did have, to play. It was getting on mother in law's nerves which meant she began needling him more than usual which only made him worse, then it began to spiral out of control. Today he was a bit better even though he didn't get to bed until after 3 am. But as the house emptied, the noise level dropped and it was easier for difficult child 3 to not get caught out by unexpected things. Then it was difficult again tonight - mother in law was stirring him up over dinner, she was in one of her moods where she is deliberately contrary, saying the opposite "as a joke" and then getting upset if the person she is needling doesn't find it funny. She does this even more when she's out of balance herself, and at the moment her own health is worrying her (and us). What I'm saying - don't be too quick to see the problem as a child coincidentally developing a new problem or having a new episode. Never underestimate the problems caused by a lot of noise, a lot of change in routine and the need to fit in with so many other people and their own wants, desires and activities. It can be a very stressful time. Marg [/QUOTE]
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