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Parent Emeritus
Homeless son, 26, how do I cope with this?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 619311" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I know how devastating that kind of worry can be. Your son is out there living the life he has chosen, while you are sadly suffering on the sidelines. Do everything you can to minimize that suffering, remind yourself that you can at any time choose to stop.............I know that sounds absurd, but as the saying goes, "misery is optional." With practice, even under these kind of severe circumstances, you can still find inner peace and experience joy, regardless of what your son is doing or not doing. </p><p></p><p>I think we have to experience the feelings, not push them down, however, we can adapt and learn detachment and learn to accept what we cannot change in life. Most of us need a lot of support to be able to do that, plus we need to put the focus onto us and take it off our adult kids. Every single day, do something very kind and nourishing for yourself, amp up your self care, make sure you exercise and get outside.........an 11 minute walk can change your brain chemistry. Taking good quality Omega 3's along with exercise has proven to be of considerable help with mild depression, along with B vitamins and Vitamin D. Sleeping is extremely important so put effort into making sure the insomnia is under control. Try to find a parent group, a support group, a therapist, a minister, someone or a group of someones who will offer consistent support and give you the tools you need to learn how to detach. </p><p></p><p>Most of us here started in similar places and we've learned from each other, from our therapists, from books, from life.........to let go. To the degree that you can let go of your son's choices in life, your life will improve dramatically. You have other younger kids too, so do it for them so that you can be present with them rather then ruminating over your son. </p><p></p><p>Sending you prayers for your peace of mind ...............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 619311, member: 13542"] I know how devastating that kind of worry can be. Your son is out there living the life he has chosen, while you are sadly suffering on the sidelines. Do everything you can to minimize that suffering, remind yourself that you can at any time choose to stop.............I know that sounds absurd, but as the saying goes, "misery is optional." With practice, even under these kind of severe circumstances, you can still find inner peace and experience joy, regardless of what your son is doing or not doing. I think we have to experience the feelings, not push them down, however, we can adapt and learn detachment and learn to accept what we cannot change in life. Most of us need a lot of support to be able to do that, plus we need to put the focus onto us and take it off our adult kids. Every single day, do something very kind and nourishing for yourself, amp up your self care, make sure you exercise and get outside.........an 11 minute walk can change your brain chemistry. Taking good quality Omega 3's along with exercise has proven to be of considerable help with mild depression, along with B vitamins and Vitamin D. Sleeping is extremely important so put effort into making sure the insomnia is under control. Try to find a parent group, a support group, a therapist, a minister, someone or a group of someones who will offer consistent support and give you the tools you need to learn how to detach. Most of us here started in similar places and we've learned from each other, from our therapists, from books, from life.........to let go. To the degree that you can let go of your son's choices in life, your life will improve dramatically. You have other younger kids too, so do it for them so that you can be present with them rather then ruminating over your son. Sending you prayers for your peace of mind ............... [/QUOTE]
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Homeless son, 26, how do I cope with this?
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