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Homeless son, 26, how do I cope with this?
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 619382" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>How enlightening that your daughter, Cedar, was offended to be considered a beggar! How DO they see it?? could she explain any further? My son is proud of how effectively he begs...he once told one of my younger boys that he "earns" about 75 dollars a day begging. He said his girlfriend doesn't beg because she isn't as good at it. In the past he has done some busking (sadly he is a loud but not very good musician), and he has sold those newspapers written by and benefitting the homeless. (he has also washed dishes in restaurants, and done a lot of bicycle delivery of take out food, mostly on stolen bicycles) Mostly he lives off his social security (I think he still gets that, but maybe not...He never likes to let me know he has failed at something, so he would avoid telling me) and his begging. Or his "earnings" as he would say.</p><p>Once he stopped by the house when his brothers and I were watching Walking Dead (they talked me into it and now I am enthralled...I said "sorry, not into zombies, boys." to which one of them replied.."it isn't about zombies, mom. Its about the monster in all of us". So I started watching, mostly to have something to share with them...and you know what...they were right!!!). I said to difficult child..you know, in the event of an apocalypse (or an oil spill, or a flood, or a hurricane)---you would not be included when the going gets rough. Because you bring nothing..no talents, no skills, no commitment. We wouldn't be able to justify feeding and caring for you in a world of limited resources. I said...I liked you better when you were volunteering at Food Not Bombs. He said "I liked me better then too"</p><p>He was upset.</p><p>Later his girlfriend told me that had a big impact on him. </p><p>Not so big, apparently, because that was six months ago (said girlfriend long gone, though...being with her was why he moved out of my house at 10 pm one night...good to sell out your family for your sleazy transient friends, yes???) but I digress.</p><p>Overall, Lucy, I probably wouldn't argue with him about eco-warrior stuff. You aren't going to convince him. You know, of course, that there is NOTHING you can say that is going to suddenly make him say...you are so right!!!!! this IS silly! it is NOT really a cause or a passion for me, even though it is for others....</p><p>He won't say that.</p><p>So give it up. YOu are wasting your breath. Use your breath to heal yourself. Use it to find compassion for him without enabling. Try and let him go.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 619382, member: 17269"] How enlightening that your daughter, Cedar, was offended to be considered a beggar! How DO they see it?? could she explain any further? My son is proud of how effectively he begs...he once told one of my younger boys that he "earns" about 75 dollars a day begging. He said his girlfriend doesn't beg because she isn't as good at it. In the past he has done some busking (sadly he is a loud but not very good musician), and he has sold those newspapers written by and benefitting the homeless. (he has also washed dishes in restaurants, and done a lot of bicycle delivery of take out food, mostly on stolen bicycles) Mostly he lives off his social security (I think he still gets that, but maybe not...He never likes to let me know he has failed at something, so he would avoid telling me) and his begging. Or his "earnings" as he would say. Once he stopped by the house when his brothers and I were watching Walking Dead (they talked me into it and now I am enthralled...I said "sorry, not into zombies, boys." to which one of them replied.."it isn't about zombies, mom. Its about the monster in all of us". So I started watching, mostly to have something to share with them...and you know what...they were right!!!). I said to difficult child..you know, in the event of an apocalypse (or an oil spill, or a flood, or a hurricane)---you would not be included when the going gets rough. Because you bring nothing..no talents, no skills, no commitment. We wouldn't be able to justify feeding and caring for you in a world of limited resources. I said...I liked you better when you were volunteering at Food Not Bombs. He said "I liked me better then too" He was upset. Later his girlfriend told me that had a big impact on him. Not so big, apparently, because that was six months ago (said girlfriend long gone, though...being with her was why he moved out of my house at 10 pm one night...good to sell out your family for your sleazy transient friends, yes???) but I digress. Overall, Lucy, I probably wouldn't argue with him about eco-warrior stuff. You aren't going to convince him. You know, of course, that there is NOTHING you can say that is going to suddenly make him say...you are so right!!!!! this IS silly! it is NOT really a cause or a passion for me, even though it is for others.... He won't say that. So give it up. YOu are wasting your breath. Use your breath to heal yourself. Use it to find compassion for him without enabling. Try and let him go. [/QUOTE]
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Homeless son, 26, how do I cope with this?
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