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Homeless son, 26, how do I cope with this?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 620003" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I love the idea of treating ourselves to a pot of tea in a little bistro somewhere while thinking. I began reading Pema Chodron. One of the first things she stresses is that we begin to heal by treating ourselves nicely. </p><p></p><p>Thank you Recovering, for the suggestion to read her. :O)</p><p></p><p>That was my New Year's resolution, actually. Just to be a little nicer to myself. It is good to be reminded of that.</p><p></p><p>I think that way too sometimes, Lucy. About bringing children into the world, I mean. But then, when I think of how intricately everything ~ every single thing ~ fits together regarding our lives and what we learn and who we learn those lessons with...I am so grateful to have brought children into the world, and to have been here, myself.</p><p></p><p>Your son is living this time in his life as he chooses to, Lucy. There is an incredible freedom in being able to do what he is doing. Like everything, that choice has its cost. He will have his times of doubt and regret, like we all do about the choices we've made. The problem for the parent is that we cannot be required to sacrifice our lives, our time and joy and curious exploration, for the sake of theirs for all of our lives. It is so hard when they have no money, when they get into trouble, when they have no medical insurance, no job, no food. How long do we put our lives on hold to help them live theirs? When they fall behind their peers, when they lose self respect because, as adults, they are taking and taking from us, when they begin to hate us for it because we are pretty much the only decent people who have anything to do with them anymore, then what do we do?</p><p></p><p>I don't know, either. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 620003, member: 17461"] I love the idea of treating ourselves to a pot of tea in a little bistro somewhere while thinking. I began reading Pema Chodron. One of the first things she stresses is that we begin to heal by treating ourselves nicely. Thank you Recovering, for the suggestion to read her. :O) That was my New Year's resolution, actually. Just to be a little nicer to myself. It is good to be reminded of that. I think that way too sometimes, Lucy. About bringing children into the world, I mean. But then, when I think of how intricately everything ~ every single thing ~ fits together regarding our lives and what we learn and who we learn those lessons with...I am so grateful to have brought children into the world, and to have been here, myself. Your son is living this time in his life as he chooses to, Lucy. There is an incredible freedom in being able to do what he is doing. Like everything, that choice has its cost. He will have his times of doubt and regret, like we all do about the choices we've made. The problem for the parent is that we cannot be required to sacrifice our lives, our time and joy and curious exploration, for the sake of theirs for all of our lives. It is so hard when they have no money, when they get into trouble, when they have no medical insurance, no job, no food. How long do we put our lives on hold to help them live theirs? When they fall behind their peers, when they lose self respect because, as adults, they are taking and taking from us, when they begin to hate us for it because we are pretty much the only decent people who have anything to do with them anymore, then what do we do? I don't know, either. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Homeless son, 26, how do I cope with this?
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