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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 227357" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I do think it's about finding the best fit. MWM, you sound like you've got a really great placement for your son and he sounds like he's happy too. I wish we had something like that. It's not that we're backward here (although it seems it sometimes!) but really, our high schools are absolutely the worst places for someone on the spectrum anywhere. Tertiary provides much more support.</p><p></p><p>You said, "the kids who were homeschooled seemed to have pretty poor social skills..." and I do think it's tricky, "chicken or the egg" stuff. The kids who cope least and for whom there are fewer options that work, are more likely to end up home-schooled. But there can be other placements for some. </p><p></p><p>difficult child 3's correspondence school also supplies curriculum for a few behaviour schools. One place has a very autistic, withdrawn boy that we met a couple of years ago. I met his mother, she had come along with her son and his behaviour school to an expo day. The boy was clearly struggling, he kept sliding off his chair to curl up on the floor and shut everything out. He had a 1:1 aide who kept getting him back onto his chair. He didn't appear to be taking in anything else. I felt angry at his placement in a behaviour school, because most of the other kids were there because they were bullies, or were disturbed (often due to discipline issues at home, judging from what I heard from them about their home life) and this kid seems to me to need a placement in a specialist autism class. ONly there isn't one, so here he is.</p><p></p><p>And yet... watching him on Speech Day (it's the annual class awards day for the school) I saw this lad go up on his own to receive an award for excellence in technology. He did have his aide with him as he queued, but walked up on the stage on his own, with his classmates (the problem behaviour kids, remember) supporting him all the way and helping him. His aide walked below the stage and collected him as he stepped back down again. </p><p></p><p>So although I feel he should be in a specialist autism class, he is actually doing well, and I think his presence in that class is probably a benefit to the other kids there too. So maybe I've been wrong all this time, at least about his placement. (Again, it's my own opinion, I've not expressed it to anyone outside family; and not even to difficult child 3). I think if he had been home-schooled then he would continue to withdraw. </p><p></p><p>With ANY kid who is withdrawn and chooses to opt out, you have to work at it to keep them socialised, no matter what placement they have. Some placements make it easier. But it's always possible. However, it can be a bigger load for the parent, than that parent is equipped to deal with. The boy I've just mentioned - his mother is a very subservient type of person, she will agree with whatever she is told by a person who is in authority. As a result, I think she would be too easily conned or browbeaten by various officials, and you do need to have courage to stand up to people to some extent (including standing up to your own child, or at least successfully negotiating with him) if you're going to home-school. You need to have trust in your own instincts, the ability to think (and act) outside the square, and to find it an adventure instead of a chore.</p><p></p><p>I am so glad we have chosen to do this, but angry that it has been necessary. If there had been a specialist autism class at the local school, for example, or even simply a Special Education unit that accepted difficult child 3, then maybe I would feel differently. But almost all the really good autism stuff in Sydney is on the other side, two hours' drive and more away. Just not possible. </p><p></p><p>I did campaign for a good autism unit down our way, but it's got a long waiting list full of people who need it more than we do. However, thanks to you guys I'll contact them in the new year when school goes back, to discuss social skills courses. I might also fire off an email to my local contact list to see if anyone's interested. If nothing else, we might be able to organise a social outing for the group, most of whom have never met. We used to do this with another older group but most of them have reached adult status and aren't so interested in hanging out with teens. We have a wide range of abilities in the group - difficult child 3 is one of the higher functioning ones. His best friend at drama class has an IQ that is literally half difficult child 3's (possibly slightly higher than half, but only slightly). Yet they get on really well. I think it's because socially, they're equivalent. Another high-functioning lad is also good friends with difficult child 3 (and now attends the autism class).</p><p></p><p>So it takes all kinds of kids, and all kinds of placements.</p><p></p><p>But before you choose to never home-school, look beyond the myths and bad press and REALLY think about it. Often the bad press is wrong.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 227357, member: 1991"] I do think it's about finding the best fit. MWM, you sound like you've got a really great placement for your son and he sounds like he's happy too. I wish we had something like that. It's not that we're backward here (although it seems it sometimes!) but really, our high schools are absolutely the worst places for someone on the spectrum anywhere. Tertiary provides much more support. You said, "the kids who were homeschooled seemed to have pretty poor social skills..." and I do think it's tricky, "chicken or the egg" stuff. The kids who cope least and for whom there are fewer options that work, are more likely to end up home-schooled. But there can be other placements for some. difficult child 3's correspondence school also supplies curriculum for a few behaviour schools. One place has a very autistic, withdrawn boy that we met a couple of years ago. I met his mother, she had come along with her son and his behaviour school to an expo day. The boy was clearly struggling, he kept sliding off his chair to curl up on the floor and shut everything out. He had a 1:1 aide who kept getting him back onto his chair. He didn't appear to be taking in anything else. I felt angry at his placement in a behaviour school, because most of the other kids were there because they were bullies, or were disturbed (often due to discipline issues at home, judging from what I heard from them about their home life) and this kid seems to me to need a placement in a specialist autism class. ONly there isn't one, so here he is. And yet... watching him on Speech Day (it's the annual class awards day for the school) I saw this lad go up on his own to receive an award for excellence in technology. He did have his aide with him as he queued, but walked up on the stage on his own, with his classmates (the problem behaviour kids, remember) supporting him all the way and helping him. His aide walked below the stage and collected him as he stepped back down again. So although I feel he should be in a specialist autism class, he is actually doing well, and I think his presence in that class is probably a benefit to the other kids there too. So maybe I've been wrong all this time, at least about his placement. (Again, it's my own opinion, I've not expressed it to anyone outside family; and not even to difficult child 3). I think if he had been home-schooled then he would continue to withdraw. With ANY kid who is withdrawn and chooses to opt out, you have to work at it to keep them socialised, no matter what placement they have. Some placements make it easier. But it's always possible. However, it can be a bigger load for the parent, than that parent is equipped to deal with. The boy I've just mentioned - his mother is a very subservient type of person, she will agree with whatever she is told by a person who is in authority. As a result, I think she would be too easily conned or browbeaten by various officials, and you do need to have courage to stand up to people to some extent (including standing up to your own child, or at least successfully negotiating with him) if you're going to home-school. You need to have trust in your own instincts, the ability to think (and act) outside the square, and to find it an adventure instead of a chore. I am so glad we have chosen to do this, but angry that it has been necessary. If there had been a specialist autism class at the local school, for example, or even simply a Special Education unit that accepted difficult child 3, then maybe I would feel differently. But almost all the really good autism stuff in Sydney is on the other side, two hours' drive and more away. Just not possible. I did campaign for a good autism unit down our way, but it's got a long waiting list full of people who need it more than we do. However, thanks to you guys I'll contact them in the new year when school goes back, to discuss social skills courses. I might also fire off an email to my local contact list to see if anyone's interested. If nothing else, we might be able to organise a social outing for the group, most of whom have never met. We used to do this with another older group but most of them have reached adult status and aren't so interested in hanging out with teens. We have a wide range of abilities in the group - difficult child 3 is one of the higher functioning ones. His best friend at drama class has an IQ that is literally half difficult child 3's (possibly slightly higher than half, but only slightly). Yet they get on really well. I think it's because socially, they're equivalent. Another high-functioning lad is also good friends with difficult child 3 (and now attends the autism class). So it takes all kinds of kids, and all kinds of placements. But before you choose to never home-school, look beyond the myths and bad press and REALLY think about it. Often the bad press is wrong. Marg [/QUOTE]
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