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Homework battles- need help! (vent included)
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<blockquote data-quote="navineja" data-source="post: 109508" data-attributes="member: 4278"><p>Seems like I started on a touchy subject! I can see valid points in the various posts. I must agree that there are those children that homework is of no or little value to, that learning the life skills that most of us take for granted is enough of a struggle without adding to it. In N's case, though, she has no Learning Disability (LD) or diagnosis that interferes with her ability to comprehend or accomplish the work, except for the ODD that moves her to refuse. I do realize that our ODDs do not want to be that way, that to them it just seems "reasonable" if you will, but somehow as the parent, it is essential to get across to them that it is not reasonable and they cannot continue on that course. I know that somehow I can find the "money" (as Rosemond terms it) that will motivate her to do the work cooperatively. There is something out there that will click with her and help her see that this is in her best interests. This takes a lot though, since both N and J are very stubborn. (Their therapists have all said that they have rarely seen 2 more strong-willed children!)</p><p>I hadn't considered the thought re: the teacher seeing her work uncorrected as a beneficial thing. After the break, I will discuss this with the teacher. She is aware of the problem, as I have N explain to her each time exactly why the work is not done. (The teacher is astounded at the problem, since N does so well on her work at school.) Perhaps together we can eliminate my role in this (since most of N's anger is directed at me- isn't that usually Mom's role though for these kids?).</p><p>Skeeter- I like your breakdown of the rules for successful homework. All aspects of that are followed well by N except #3, which of course is the one that you had no problem with <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />.</p><p>I will try the things suggested, but TIA for any others you may come up with, as I always like to have my bag of tricks very full.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="navineja, post: 109508, member: 4278"] Seems like I started on a touchy subject! I can see valid points in the various posts. I must agree that there are those children that homework is of no or little value to, that learning the life skills that most of us take for granted is enough of a struggle without adding to it. In N's case, though, she has no Learning Disability (LD) or diagnosis that interferes with her ability to comprehend or accomplish the work, except for the ODD that moves her to refuse. I do realize that our ODDs do not want to be that way, that to them it just seems "reasonable" if you will, but somehow as the parent, it is essential to get across to them that it is not reasonable and they cannot continue on that course. I know that somehow I can find the "money" (as Rosemond terms it) that will motivate her to do the work cooperatively. There is something out there that will click with her and help her see that this is in her best interests. This takes a lot though, since both N and J are very stubborn. (Their therapists have all said that they have rarely seen 2 more strong-willed children!) I hadn't considered the thought re: the teacher seeing her work uncorrected as a beneficial thing. After the break, I will discuss this with the teacher. She is aware of the problem, as I have N explain to her each time exactly why the work is not done. (The teacher is astounded at the problem, since N does so well on her work at school.) Perhaps together we can eliminate my role in this (since most of N's anger is directed at me- isn't that usually Mom's role though for these kids?). Skeeter- I like your breakdown of the rules for successful homework. All aspects of that are followed well by N except #3, which of course is the one that you had no problem with :). I will try the things suggested, but TIA for any others you may come up with, as I always like to have my bag of tricks very full. [/QUOTE]
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