Honeymoon's over...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by AnnieO, Sep 16, 2014.

  1. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    So. Belle has been in prison since February. Seemed like she was starting to get a clue in May and June... The letters we got were hopeful and realistic (we visited her May 27).

    There were a few blips in her messages, but nothing that caused any blood pressure spikes. She vanished from the inmate email system for a few days in July... She got put in solitary for a week for refusing to work on the anniverary of her mother's death.

    We finally were approved and set up another visit for September 7. On August 26, she sent a message. We sent her one on August 28 to let her know we were coming, but she didn't respond.

    We drove the hour plus up to see her to be turned away at the reception center... She was "still" in solitary (again). That would have been at least 10 days... husband got a call from her yesterday (at the 18 day mark) - she had just gone back into the general population. Her story is that another inmate stole her bra and they got into a fight over it. All the other inmate's fault. And of course she told boyfriend to go fly a kite (my words) again.

    So... Here's how I imagine the scenario went... Knowing my daughter as I do... She couldn't find her bra, accused the other girl, who denied taking it, and Belle then tried to remove the other girl's shirt forcibly... husband laughed and said that sounded about right.

    (Side note - the prison Belle is in is not air conditioned. So... ANYONE else's bra... EWWWWWWWWW! Who would want it?!)

    So seriously speaking, yep. Timing was right, and the season is right - 5 months is about the longest she's ever gone...
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry. I don't remember how long she'll be there, but maybe there is still time for her to decide she doesn't like prison and wants to change.

    Not that I have much knowledge of prisons, but I do have a fixation for watching crime shows and I also watch Lock Up every weekend where they show inmates in various prisons, men and women. I am always blown away at how many never really decide to change. It looks pretty awful to me. But our difficult children don't think like us.

    Perhaps I have been blessed that none of my children have been in jail. Two could have been. I feel so badly for parents whose adult kids end up there. It would be so much better if, since they are in prison and forced what to do anyway, had forced rehab and counseling.

    Hugs to you and hubby too.
  3. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Wow! What a shame she missed contact with you guys. I imagine the fight over the bra was hilarious to everyone outside the situation.

    Hopefully that 18 days in solitary will help her realize it is easier to get along with people.
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Have you watched Orange Is The New Black? After watching that show I can see how easy it is to get into those little disagreements. I'm not sure this means anything other than jail is tough. Hopefully when you do get to see her you will have a good visit.
  5. 4PawsSake

    4PawsSake Member

    Most difficult child don't have standards. My son is choosing to live in the dirtiest house with the dirtiest people in our town. The dad there is an alcoholic that lives on the system, the mom is in jail and the son (my son's buddy) is also an alcoholic that is on social assistance at 19 years old. My son came to visit today for a few minutes, he's looking straight but he reeked of cigarette smoke, wasn't cleanly shaven and he hadn't showered today (he'd normally shower as soon as he gets up). He was not raised to live like that and our home (the one he refuses to live in) is not perfect but it's CLEAN!

  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    4Paws, no kidding. Belle's room - when she lived with us - was a hazmat site. I did not walk in there barefoot, not ever. When I cleaned it out I used gloves. When we re-did it for Rose, I scrubbed and painted the walls, then we removed carpet and I super cleaned the hardwood.
  7. 4PawsSake

    4PawsSake Member

    Funny, when Forest lived at home his room wasn't too bad..the angel daughter on the other hand..OMG, when she moved out, Forest and I cleaned her room...talk about hazmat suits! She had take out in her drawers from months back, bottles under her bed, dirty laundry everywhere, looked like the show "Hoarders Buried Alive". I'm surprised it didn't attract rodents. lol

  8. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    This is he hardest thing for me about my son. He stinks. It's the hardest part of dealing with his lifestyle choices. It's also the main reason why it is so hard to visit him and so hard to have him to stay. I don't get it. I don't get how he can live in filth and be okay with it. I don't get how he can use the forest as a toilet and never wash his hands. It disgusts me.

    (We're getting sidetracked from your thread Annie, sorry.)