Hoo-boy. Coping with belligerence.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Feb 2, 2010.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    This is all part and parcel of difficult child 1's issues right now -- the danged oppositional belligerence that's been bleeding through in the evenings and now that we've halved the patch it's coming out earlier in the afternoon.

    I'm trying very hard to not allow my feelings to get bent out of shape and escalate because it can get very ugly very fast if I'm not careful. I purposely did not tax myself during the day so that I'd have the mental/emotional/physical stamina to hold myself together when he's home. :faint:

    I'm trying to be firm and not allow him to intimidate me. I'm trying to be patient. Trying to explain things simply and clearly.

    He yells that he can't help it, that he's mad at himself and taking it out on everyone else. Okay so I guess it's good that he recognizes what's going on. Not okay that he's doing this to everyone else, though.

    He finally got his homework done after lying to me about it and then knuckling down to finish it after I calmly called his bluff and asked to see the assignment planner and the completed work. I didn't get emotional about it, I just stated that he had to finish X before I would consider him finished for the night.

    Maybe we'll be able to make some solid plans with the psychiatrist this week or next and get him back on track. I hope, I hope, I hope.
     
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Hugs}}} It really seems like March Madness is starting early this year. Duckie was difficult and argumentative this morning so I told her to stop picking a fight with me. she said, sadly: "I can't". I tend to believe her.

    I hope difficult child 1 finds a way to stay in control until you get him into the psychiatrist.
     
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Does difficult child know how to self calm? Is he able to remove himself rather than everyone else leaving a room when he is approaching meltdown mode?

    I tell you once kt learned how to remove herself from the situation & do some of her self calming exercises it seemed like heaven on earth.

    "This too shall pass!" ;)
     
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Way to go with the patience. I think it is a success that homework got done. We never got to that accomplishment in my house. WAY to many meltdowns with that one.
     
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I hope, I hope, I hope right along with you!

    Good for you for keeping your cool in the face of lies and attitude over homework.

    Sending ((((hugs)))) and cyber support.

    --DaisyFace
     
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Linda, no he does not seem to be able to de-escalate on his own right now. There have been times in the past when I saw he could do this, but for some reason he's not now.

    psychiatrist last week told husband he thought the stims were making his emotions too raw, so that's why we lowered the dose. But now his impulse control is compromised further, so he's reactive (in my opinion). And he is provocative almost like he's trying to self-stimulant. But then it backfires because person he's approaching gets mad. :(
     
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Thank you for the encouragement TM, BW & DF :) Today is another day!
     
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you handled it very well!
    I hate it when the medications work--or don't work--like that. It is so hard.
    Best of luck with-the psychiatrist and medications.
     
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