Mama Raygun
New Member
I just wanted to share a little of my story to give some hope of an addicts future. I am now a 30 yr old mom of 2 but I was most def a difficult child to my mom. (I'm sure she would choose PIA pain in ass)
I put my family thru hell! My childhood was pretty normal I def think I had some untreated add also I was very anxious and kind of socially akward. By age 12 I began experimenting with pot, alcohol and from there it escalated quickly. I was failing school and very defiant and just plain difficult. I look back now and feel so awful for what I put my poor mom thru. By 15 I had tried all the acid, shrooms, stuff like that. That's also the age I started running away. I would just not go home at night sometimes 3-4 nights. My mom would call the cops, twice I was 302'd to the psychiatric ward. Nothing got thru to me and I'm not sure really what made me do the things I did. I started dating a 23 yr old dealer and began using cocaine often. At 16 I ended up pregnant and moved in with my adult boyfriend, also dropped out of high school at this time. I didn't use during my pregnancy in fact it never even crossed my mind for some reason. Thankfully. After my son was born I was right back to the coke. My boyfriend became abusive and until my son was 3 I stayed in that awful situation. When we broke up things just got worse I was depressed, confused, anxious. I ended up smoking crack for 3 months and then admitted myself to the psychiatric ward. I was suicidal at that point, I was so ashamed at what I've become. I truly had hit bottom. I stayed there 10 days then completed a dual diagnosis outpatient center for 8 weeks. It was hard and there were some slips along the way. I also started na meetings which were very helpful, especially in the beginning.
I put my family thru hell! My childhood was pretty normal I def think I had some untreated add also I was very anxious and kind of socially akward. By age 12 I began experimenting with pot, alcohol and from there it escalated quickly. I was failing school and very defiant and just plain difficult. I look back now and feel so awful for what I put my poor mom thru. By 15 I had tried all the acid, shrooms, stuff like that. That's also the age I started running away. I would just not go home at night sometimes 3-4 nights. My mom would call the cops, twice I was 302'd to the psychiatric ward. Nothing got thru to me and I'm not sure really what made me do the things I did. I started dating a 23 yr old dealer and began using cocaine often. At 16 I ended up pregnant and moved in with my adult boyfriend, also dropped out of high school at this time. I didn't use during my pregnancy in fact it never even crossed my mind for some reason. Thankfully. After my son was born I was right back to the coke. My boyfriend became abusive and until my son was 3 I stayed in that awful situation. When we broke up things just got worse I was depressed, confused, anxious. I ended up smoking crack for 3 months and then admitted myself to the psychiatric ward. I was suicidal at that point, I was so ashamed at what I've become. I truly had hit bottom. I stayed there 10 days then completed a dual diagnosis outpatient center for 8 weeks. It was hard and there were some slips along the way. I also started na meetings which were very helpful, especially in the beginning.
