Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by shiela, Apr 8, 2014.

  1. shiela

    shiela Member

    Hello friends, I posted here as a newby recently and it was suggested I go to the substance abuse forum. But I have been reading many heart wrenching words on this forum, that I have been experiencing. I have been busy reading all posts and reading them out loud to my husband, as we are grieving. Grieving that we are in the process of letting go.
    All posts have been so helpful, thank you. It is a process, we feel good one day, and the next we are full of tears. Thank you.
  2. shiela

    shiela Member

    Just a thought and warning to parents that have these issues with younger adult children, mine is 34, Please take the advice here. I, we.. waited too long. We always wanted to believe his new job would help, we believed his actions were true. We wanted to believe, that was the problem, we wanted this to end. It never did. Now, we are much older, not all that well, and can't manage. Please take the advice of others and let go for your own health and happiness.
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  3. Stress Bunny

    Stress Bunny Active Member

    Shiela, what words of wisdom. Our hopes and dreams for our children are so powerful, and letting go is definitely a grief process. I hope you find peace and better days ahead as you work to let go.
  4. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Hi Sheila, I think we are all guilty of that, of wanting to believe. I guess "guilty" is the wrong word, there is really nothing wrong with having faith in the people we love. But somehow with children like ours, that love and faith gets twisted into something painful and debilitating, to us and to them. I'm sorry you are feeling not well and not able to manage. There is a lot of great support on this board, with learning to let go and with finding the resources we need to move forward with strength.
  5. amys3yungins

    amys3yungins New Member

    I am trying to learn this early for my own sake and my difficult child's sake. I watched my mother rescue and enable and believe lie after lie with my brother. My brother has led a life of theft, addiction and self destruction since he was a teenager. He has been in and out of jail / prison so many times. He will be 50 in June of this year. He is currently serving a 7 1/2 year sentence for armed robbery. I don't want to repeat my mother's footsteps.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    It is so sad to see an eighty year old set of parents, who should be enjoying their golden years, trying to care for their fifty plus child who is almost a senior himself/herself and has already given up his own life to drugs or other dysfunction.