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Horrible day - need advice
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<blockquote data-quote="UpandDown" data-source="post: 679447" data-attributes="member: 19025"><p>Copa, thank you for breaking it down for me. It helps me to look at each part of her response as I try to dissect where things went so terribly wrong. I do agree with you that she was doing due diligence when she asked the questions she asked. I certainly think she could have asked in a way that was not so accusatory but so be it. I even told her that I appreciated her not prescribing something that could potentially make him worse. I am considering reporting her because it is the right thing to do. But every time I rehash it in my mind, I get upset and I am not sure i am willing to throw another second at her. You are so wise, I absolutely need to let it go and not build it up. You give wonderful advice here and i am very thankful for it. I read lots of posts but don't feel like I have a clue how to support or give advice to others as I am so overwhelmed. </p><p></p><p>I honestly think the advice that I read about children that are over 18 is the advice that would best work for us. We have tried so many things and advocated and worked on our son's behalf and he won't lift a finger to help himself. When pushed to try in school or get a job, his reason to not do anything is because he is unhappy and a life time of school and work make him him terribly unhappy and he would rather die. He thinks that if he gets rich all of his problems will be solved. So, we try to dig and find out why school is so hard. Ok, its adhd and anxiety. So we take him to doctors for help and he refuses to take their recommended medication. He is constantly doing it his way and none of it has ever worked. And we spin and spin trying to set him up to succeed. The articles and advice on detachment is what rings most helpful to me. Yet, he is still a minor and the advice is for children over 18. However, all of his wisdom about how he doesn't need to do school or get a menial job come while he is living in a nice warm house with food and a car to drive. When I explain to him that the reality is that you have to work and do things that you may not love to be able to support yourself, he just tells me that it makes him so unhappy he would rather kill himself. Yet, he has never even had a job so how would he know. I am rambling. I am so very tired and just don't get him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="UpandDown, post: 679447, member: 19025"] Copa, thank you for breaking it down for me. It helps me to look at each part of her response as I try to dissect where things went so terribly wrong. I do agree with you that she was doing due diligence when she asked the questions she asked. I certainly think she could have asked in a way that was not so accusatory but so be it. I even told her that I appreciated her not prescribing something that could potentially make him worse. I am considering reporting her because it is the right thing to do. But every time I rehash it in my mind, I get upset and I am not sure i am willing to throw another second at her. You are so wise, I absolutely need to let it go and not build it up. You give wonderful advice here and i am very thankful for it. I read lots of posts but don't feel like I have a clue how to support or give advice to others as I am so overwhelmed. I honestly think the advice that I read about children that are over 18 is the advice that would best work for us. We have tried so many things and advocated and worked on our son's behalf and he won't lift a finger to help himself. When pushed to try in school or get a job, his reason to not do anything is because he is unhappy and a life time of school and work make him him terribly unhappy and he would rather die. He thinks that if he gets rich all of his problems will be solved. So, we try to dig and find out why school is so hard. Ok, its adhd and anxiety. So we take him to doctors for help and he refuses to take their recommended medication. He is constantly doing it his way and none of it has ever worked. And we spin and spin trying to set him up to succeed. The articles and advice on detachment is what rings most helpful to me. Yet, he is still a minor and the advice is for children over 18. However, all of his wisdom about how he doesn't need to do school or get a menial job come while he is living in a nice warm house with food and a car to drive. When I explain to him that the reality is that you have to work and do things that you may not love to be able to support yourself, he just tells me that it makes him so unhappy he would rather kill himself. Yet, he has never even had a job so how would he know. I am rambling. I am so very tired and just don't get him. [/QUOTE]
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