Hospital Visit to difficult child

[JKF]

So I just got back from visiting my son in the hospital. He seemed ok. He was acting so much more like his "normal" self. Joking, laughing, and actually talking. He was very tired but that's from the change in his medications.

My heart is literally breaking for him. I just want to scoop him up and bring him home and make everything ok but I know I can't do that. I know he needs serious help and going back into a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is probably best for him. I'm just so sad for him. I know he wants to come home but I'm not sure if we can make it work. It's been complete hell since he came home from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) 8 weeks ago and I can't see that stopping just because he had a few days away in the hospital.

I'm so tired and torn and just want to curl up in a ball and cry!

 

[Wiped Out]

First off, gentle hugs. I can understand how you are feeling. It's so difficult even knowing that we are doing what is best for our kids. Please use this time as a mental health break for yourself. Take care of you-you deserve it.

 

[TeDo]

Have you thought about the fact that maybe he is happy to be going back to what he knows he can handle. It's kind of like a phenomenon with some repeat criminals. Once they are incarcerated for a period of time, that becomes familiar so when they are released they don't know how to act (out of their comfort zone) so they re-offend to go back "home". I know it sounds sick to us logical people but to them it is out of security. I don't know if that's true of your son but that's what your post reminded me of.

Be gentle with yourself. YOU did not cause this and neither did he. As parents, we have to do what is best for our kids and at times it means putting aside what we want/dream for them. Glad he is happy. {{{{(((HUGS)))}}} to you.

 

[Blessed Mama]

I can definitely relate. I could have started this thread myself. My daughter spent 22 days total - spaced between 3 hospitilizations - in May of this year in our state psychiatric hospital, juvenile ward. During her first stay, she was upset about being discharged, and wanted to go back. She made sure that happened by actually injuring herself, as opposed to the first time when she just threatened to harm herself. After the second stay, she was eager to come home, but it wasn't long before she completely flipped out at a friends and really hurt herself, and wound up going back. The third stay was the longest, and she was adament that she never wants to return since coming home. It was definitely heartbreaking going to visit and seeing my little girl there. Or hearing about her being reprimanded (she had to be put in 'strong clothes' for flipping a table and screaming profanity at staff). My daughter also had a very hard time with insomnia, and most of her episodes are at night, when her mind is racing and she can't sleep.

It's especially hard when you see both sides of them - the sweet, funny, intelligent, cute and loving side vs. the flipping out, screaming, swearing, running, breaking stuff side.

I definitely feel for you. ((hugs))