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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 152026" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Steely,</p><p> </p><p>I am overwhelmed at all you have on your plate. I think the answer is going to have to come from you - you know your limits and how much pressure you can stand, and you also know best your priorities.</p><p> </p><p>Just kind of thinking outside the box - is difficult child willing to get a job? Hmmm... a "willing" difficult child... <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> OK, maybe "willing" isn't the right word, but is that a battle you could fight and possibly win? The carrot of him having money as well as possibly putting some responsibility on his shoulders in terms of contributing something some*where*. I agree a GED is necessary but I'm wondering if from his viewpoint there's no payoff, whereas maybe he might see one with employment? And then maybe in June, or in the fall, nudge him into GED classes, once he's in the goove (hopefully) of doing something besides vegging out?? I don't know... just a thought, trying to find path of least resistance without completely enabling his zombie ways?</p><p> </p><p>I've been pushing thank you really hard the last 10 months or so - 18 is just around the corner, living at home is not an option, what is *he* going to do about it because it's not my problem. I've taken just earfuls of flack from him and seen some lovely new difficult child behaviors but tonight for the first time *ever*, he was trying to figure it out. I think it's finally sinking in. </p><p></p><p>I don't think it would be unreasonable to point out to your son that 18 is right around the corner for him too - what is he going to do with his life, because he sure can't expect to just play games in your home for the rest of his life. I know it's harsh, at least I sure do feel like the grinch when I have to repeatedly remind thank you that he will never live here again, but at the same time, our boys need to start thinking and acting like men. I will not rescue, I will not enable. I will be *more* than happy to help him if he's making positive steps in the right direction, but I will not financially support him nor will I put a roof over his head. He's been warned. It's his turn to create an adult life.</p><p> </p><p>Your son needs to start taking responsibility for his own life. Heaven knows, Steely, we've done our best to prepare and teach and treat them. I guess what I'm saying is I think maybe set the limits and expectations (in our house it's out at 18/HS graduation unless they're in college), stay firm, ask if he needs help preparing for the expectations, and then stand back but be prepared to follow thru.</p><p> </p><p>Just my opinion. Please remember to take care of yourself - extra special TLC.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 152026, member: 8"] Steely, I am overwhelmed at all you have on your plate. I think the answer is going to have to come from you - you know your limits and how much pressure you can stand, and you also know best your priorities. Just kind of thinking outside the box - is difficult child willing to get a job? Hmmm... a "willing" difficult child... :rofl: OK, maybe "willing" isn't the right word, but is that a battle you could fight and possibly win? The carrot of him having money as well as possibly putting some responsibility on his shoulders in terms of contributing something some*where*. I agree a GED is necessary but I'm wondering if from his viewpoint there's no payoff, whereas maybe he might see one with employment? And then maybe in June, or in the fall, nudge him into GED classes, once he's in the goove (hopefully) of doing something besides vegging out?? I don't know... just a thought, trying to find path of least resistance without completely enabling his zombie ways? I've been pushing thank you really hard the last 10 months or so - 18 is just around the corner, living at home is not an option, what is *he* going to do about it because it's not my problem. I've taken just earfuls of flack from him and seen some lovely new difficult child behaviors but tonight for the first time *ever*, he was trying to figure it out. I think it's finally sinking in. I don't think it would be unreasonable to point out to your son that 18 is right around the corner for him too - what is he going to do with his life, because he sure can't expect to just play games in your home for the rest of his life. I know it's harsh, at least I sure do feel like the grinch when I have to repeatedly remind thank you that he will never live here again, but at the same time, our boys need to start thinking and acting like men. I will not rescue, I will not enable. I will be *more* than happy to help him if he's making positive steps in the right direction, but I will not financially support him nor will I put a roof over his head. He's been warned. It's his turn to create an adult life. Your son needs to start taking responsibility for his own life. Heaven knows, Steely, we've done our best to prepare and teach and treat them. I guess what I'm saying is I think maybe set the limits and expectations (in our house it's out at 18/HS graduation unless they're in college), stay firm, ask if he needs help preparing for the expectations, and then stand back but be prepared to follow thru. Just my opinion. Please remember to take care of yourself - extra special TLC. [/QUOTE]
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