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How bad can bi-polar get? Any experience here?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 656544" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My son has gossiped about me. He has told others of my worst moments.</p><p></p><p>Forget what happened to get me to that place. The provocations, the debasement. The fear.</p><p></p><p>My son has little cared what others may do, for their own ends, with the tasty bits of my degradation. Neighbors felt justified in telling me I should have done better, been better as a mother, and telling each other...exactly how I failed.</p><p></p><p>In our case, I am the target of my son's anger and pain related to his birth parents, now dead. And what can I do? I am the parent who remains....</p><p></p><p>Looking outside himself for someone to blame, to hold responsible, for more and more things...became a habit for my son, until few competencies were left...his expectations of himself, fewer and fewer....</p><p></p><p>Seeking to externalize this toxicity...to find someone to blame, hold responsible, I stepped forward.</p><p></p><p>It's me. Me. It's my fault, I knew it. And my anger and loss of control...showed me to be the guilty one. My fault. Yes. That role, I knew.</p><p></p><p>I had raised a son who lacked it seemed, the personal resources to function and grow as an adult. My fault, yes. My responsibility, yes. My failure, yes.</p><p></p><p>Desparate, I was to stop this. How do I save him, and myself?</p><p></p><p>The realization. I cannot.</p><p></p><p>I read, I type, I post. I decide, I choose to live. Nothing more. For now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 656544, member: 18958"] My son has gossiped about me. He has told others of my worst moments. Forget what happened to get me to that place. The provocations, the debasement. The fear. My son has little cared what others may do, for their own ends, with the tasty bits of my degradation. Neighbors felt justified in telling me I should have done better, been better as a mother, and telling each other...exactly how I failed. In our case, I am the target of my son's anger and pain related to his birth parents, now dead. And what can I do? I am the parent who remains.... Looking outside himself for someone to blame, to hold responsible, for more and more things...became a habit for my son, until few competencies were left...his expectations of himself, fewer and fewer.... Seeking to externalize this toxicity...to find someone to blame, hold responsible, I stepped forward. It's me. Me. It's my fault, I knew it. And my anger and loss of control...showed me to be the guilty one. My fault. Yes. That role, I knew. I had raised a son who lacked it seemed, the personal resources to function and grow as an adult. My fault, yes. My responsibility, yes. My failure, yes. Desparate, I was to stop this. How do I save him, and myself? The realization. I cannot. I read, I type, I post. I decide, I choose to live. Nothing more. For now. [/QUOTE]
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How bad can bi-polar get? Any experience here?
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