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How bad can bi-polar get? Any experience here?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 657657" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Iwantpeace, sometimes I fear he will leave me. After all, who would voluntarily stay through this, with a mate sometimes in bed all day, 3 or 4 days on end in my nightgown. And lately, not sleeping until 4 or 6 am in the morning.</p><p></p><p>He wanted to leave once, that I know about, after my Mother died. Still, I am not sure why. Perhaps it was the interminable wailing, through the night, night after night, while I drank, to permit the wail to come forth.</p><p></p><p>I fear facing this alone. Have I been compromising, staying with him because of this fear of dealing with this alone? I don't know.</p><p></p><p>I was an extremely independent woman, alone almost all of my life until M. But sometimes, I fear that my relationship with M is too much dependency. He fears the same, about himself.</p><p></p><p>The reality is closer, I think, that I fear that I will leave him.</p><p></p><p>I wonder who I would be without him. Free. And sometimes feel that without him I would be stronger and more complete, not less.</p><p></p><p>I believe my relationship with my son would be easier, and I have guilt that the presence of M, exacerbated my son's problems and his rage towards me. I gave space to M that had been my son's. His alone.</p><p></p><p>The truth this moment is this: I am a better Mother with M than without him.</p><p></p><p>My son is not his, by birth or by nurture and M is committed to us both.</p><p></p><p>For that I am grateful and I do not take it for granted.</p><p></p><p>Iwantpeace, there is nothing, no condition that makes this easier, for any of us. No person, no thing. Nothing at all takes away the pain and fear of this, for me.</p><p></p><p>No woman here on this site feels less despair and dread because she has somebody.</p><p></p><p>The difference is she is suffering together with someone, just as we do together, here.</p><p></p><p>Together none of us is alone. No matter what happens. Even if M leaves or dies.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 657657, member: 18958"] Iwantpeace, sometimes I fear he will leave me. After all, who would voluntarily stay through this, with a mate sometimes in bed all day, 3 or 4 days on end in my nightgown. And lately, not sleeping until 4 or 6 am in the morning. He wanted to leave once, that I know about, after my Mother died. Still, I am not sure why. Perhaps it was the interminable wailing, through the night, night after night, while I drank, to permit the wail to come forth. I fear facing this alone. Have I been compromising, staying with him because of this fear of dealing with this alone? I don't know. I was an extremely independent woman, alone almost all of my life until M. But sometimes, I fear that my relationship with M is too much dependency. He fears the same, about himself. The reality is closer, I think, that I fear that I will leave him. I wonder who I would be without him. Free. And sometimes feel that without him I would be stronger and more complete, not less. I believe my relationship with my son would be easier, and I have guilt that the presence of M, exacerbated my son's problems and his rage towards me. I gave space to M that had been my son's. His alone. The truth this moment is this: I am a better Mother with M than without him. My son is not his, by birth or by nurture and M is committed to us both. For that I am grateful and I do not take it for granted. Iwantpeace, there is nothing, no condition that makes this easier, for any of us. No person, no thing. Nothing at all takes away the pain and fear of this, for me. No woman here on this site feels less despair and dread because she has somebody. The difference is she is suffering together with someone, just as we do together, here. Together none of us is alone. No matter what happens. Even if M leaves or dies. [/QUOTE]
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How bad can bi-polar get? Any experience here?
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