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How Can He Ignore This
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 280703" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I think you've got it exactly right.</p><p></p><p>A thought on the alarm front - can you put something in place, even short-term, WITHOUT telling husband or difficult child? Say, borrow a movement-triggered infra-red camera and install it downstairs to catch any movment either coming in the downstairs doors or catching movement near the stairs. Make sure it is silent, you don't want to alert anyone to being "caught" and give them time to cover their tracks and destroy the evidence.</p><p></p><p>If/when challenged on why you did it, you can point out that if difficult child is telling the truth, then the secret footage should help clear him by finding the true culprit. After all, it is always possible that the Jolly Green Giant is breaking in every night to pour maple syrup through the bedrooms...</p><p></p><p>difficult child is getting very cocky over this. That would worry me. He's been challenged, "Of course it's not him, we've got him pinned down in his room every night," when in fact that alone is a challenge, to get out, do damage then get back inside to cement his alibi. But by doing this, he knows YOU suspect, and he knows you know about the kives. it's his way of saying to ALL who fear him, "This time it was syrup. next time, or ANY time of my choosing, it could be another glutinous, sticky substance such as blood. So behave, don't do anything to upset me. If you have secrets, keep them. I can hurt you any time I choose."</p><p></p><p>This is sociopathic behaviour.</p><p></p><p>If you put something in place and tell husband, he is too likely to let it slip to difficult child and not tell you that difficult child knows. This would then undermine ANY benefit from it all and probably lead to the camera being sabotaged. Or difficult child staying put.</p><p></p><p>If you do get the camera and difficult child finds out (or even if he doesn't) - maybe consider changing its location from time to time. Make sure the camera can be well hidden and has a wide angle of view. Bookshelves are good, with a cable going to the VCR or some other recording device, somewhere else. You don't want the sound of any servo or drive to alert someone in the dark to the "Candid Camera". A clock is a good cover because a lot of clocks have some motor noise inside.</p><p></p><p>Test it out well, in an empty house. If you get any useful recorded info, copy it FAST then keep the copies safe and away from home. In your work locker is a good place.</p><p></p><p>YOu may never need to use it. But just knowing you have it can give you a sense of security, in the same way that HIM knowing he's cheating your security system, is giving him.</p><p></p><p>It's not what you know, however, but the use to which you put that knowledge that defines how sane it all is.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 280703, member: 1991"] I think you've got it exactly right. A thought on the alarm front - can you put something in place, even short-term, WITHOUT telling husband or difficult child? Say, borrow a movement-triggered infra-red camera and install it downstairs to catch any movment either coming in the downstairs doors or catching movement near the stairs. Make sure it is silent, you don't want to alert anyone to being "caught" and give them time to cover their tracks and destroy the evidence. If/when challenged on why you did it, you can point out that if difficult child is telling the truth, then the secret footage should help clear him by finding the true culprit. After all, it is always possible that the Jolly Green Giant is breaking in every night to pour maple syrup through the bedrooms... difficult child is getting very cocky over this. That would worry me. He's been challenged, "Of course it's not him, we've got him pinned down in his room every night," when in fact that alone is a challenge, to get out, do damage then get back inside to cement his alibi. But by doing this, he knows YOU suspect, and he knows you know about the kives. it's his way of saying to ALL who fear him, "This time it was syrup. next time, or ANY time of my choosing, it could be another glutinous, sticky substance such as blood. So behave, don't do anything to upset me. If you have secrets, keep them. I can hurt you any time I choose." This is sociopathic behaviour. If you put something in place and tell husband, he is too likely to let it slip to difficult child and not tell you that difficult child knows. This would then undermine ANY benefit from it all and probably lead to the camera being sabotaged. Or difficult child staying put. If you do get the camera and difficult child finds out (or even if he doesn't) - maybe consider changing its location from time to time. Make sure the camera can be well hidden and has a wide angle of view. Bookshelves are good, with a cable going to the VCR or some other recording device, somewhere else. You don't want the sound of any servo or drive to alert someone in the dark to the "Candid Camera". A clock is a good cover because a lot of clocks have some motor noise inside. Test it out well, in an empty house. If you get any useful recorded info, copy it FAST then keep the copies safe and away from home. In your work locker is a good place. YOu may never need to use it. But just knowing you have it can give you a sense of security, in the same way that HIM knowing he's cheating your security system, is giving him. It's not what you know, however, but the use to which you put that knowledge that defines how sane it all is. Marg [/QUOTE]
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