I'm another one that drinks next to nothing. Never have, never will. I think the last time I had anything to drink was maybe ten years ago when a few of us from work had a girls night out at a comedy club, and then it was two light watered down drinks spread out over several hours after a big dinner. None of us had more than that and at the end of the evening, none of us were impaired in the slightest. To me, that is what "social drinking" is.
I am both the daughter and the ex-wife of serious alcoholics. One brother drinks too much. The other, if he drinks at all, drinks too much so he now doesn't drink at all and hasn't for decades. Some of my nightmare memories from childhood are of the times when my dad had too much to drink and created a scene at family gatherings, or created a big painful scene at home. He didn't drink all the time but when he did, it was horrible. And my ex, of course was (and still is) the worst kind of alcoholic and now has added drug abuse to the mix. Quite frankly, I'm surprised he's still alive. I could tell you the twenty years of horror stories, but I won't. Suffice it to say that he poisoned the lives of his family and friends and hurt everyone who was ever close to him. Alcohol was more important to him than anything- more important than his marriage, his children, his home, his job, or his self-respect. He drank every day, even in the car unless he was on his way to work, then in the evening his first stop was to buy beer and he would have two or three while he was driving home. He refused to go anywhere that he couldn't drink. If he went to our sons' ball games, he had beer in the car and would go out to the car and drink between innings. if we were down to our last $10, he would spend it on beer.
And it is because of all these nightmare memories that I am extremely uncomfortable being around people who are drinking. I've never understood the desire some people have to become drunk. Doesn't appeal to me at all. I can't even imagine myself ever drinking to the point where I wouldn't be able to be responsible for my own safety! There is NO ONE in this world that I trust enough to be responsible for me other than ME! And I don't want to be around someone else who drinks to the point that I am forced in to the position of being responsible for this persons safety. Don't make ME have to wrestle your car keys away to keep you from driving so you don't go out and kill your silly self or someone else! I want nothing to do with any of this ... I've already had enough of it to last me a lifetime!
Now I'm not talking about the kind of evening that Janet described, a rare occasion where they had taken steps to insure that no one was driving and everyone was safe. And I'm not talking about a glass of wine with dinner either, but certainly someone who drinks more than a little every day is a "problem drinker". When drinking becomes a priority, I think you are a "problem drinker". When your drinking affects those around you, when you make yourself their problem, then it's gone beyond any definition of "social drinking". When you put your own or your familys safety, happiness, security or financial position in jeopardy because of your drinking, then you have a big problem. And even if they don't drink every day, I certainly consider these people who go out every weekend with the objective of partying and getting blind running drunk to be "problem drinkers". They don't realize they look like fools and may end up doing things they wouldn't ordinarily do when sober. This is "fun"? How do they get home? And how many of them end up killing or injuring themselves or someone else because they thought they were OK to drive? When people get drunk, the very first thing to be affected is their judgement, especially about their ability to drive!
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