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How did you know when it was time?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 558811" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>wtwe, </p><p></p><p>How did I know it was time? How does anyone know it's time? And I exhale/snort as I sit here and I think back and I take a long, long exhaused exhale, sigh....parental moan, draw my hand over my face, because I flash back to that day.....and all the other days, weeks, months and years before that - which collectively had become my life, my hell, my prison, my exhaustion, my embarassment, my demotion in dreams, my sadness. my loss of meaht. my loss of mental health, my increase in medications, my loss literally of hair, my increase in weight, my financial demise......and while the last thing I'll mention here truly doesn't bother me - my lack of "friends" because when I tell you he really cut the weak ones and the untrue ones from the herd? I'm not kidding - the only friends I have in the world - exist here - in cyber space. The ones in the real world could not handle our life. NO ONE wanted to be anywhere near what we had in our lives.......so how did I know? When I feared for my life, when I was called names that made a bikers jaw drop, and when I had no options left - no stone unturned......and sat and wondered - like you......but what if????? IF I put him out.....will HE die? Or if he stays will I die? And the therapist literally worried......it would be me. I worried if he stayed he would get to a point where we'd all end up on the news......and that's not an exaggeration in the least. </p><p></p><p>So if you throw him out, put him out......send him elsewhere - however you need to put it to ease your mind (and you have to figure that out yourself) is there a chance that he could get worse? OF COURSE. Will he? Who knows. Did mine? ABSOLUTELY. Was it worth it? Yes. Why? Because it was THE ONLY way he every learned to APPRECIATE anything we had done for him, given him.....and could he get into trouble? Yup. Did he? OH you bet. He's now a convicted felon on probation......and what did that teach him? ........I can't bail him out. I didn't go there,,,,,,I didn't visit him......I haven't SEEN him in four years. (one time for 1/2 a day to pick up my Granddog) .......and in the mean time......he has a child......and..........</p><p></p><p>He's out of jail, paying probation.....in a nice home, GOT HIMSELF in school, working on getting a PELL grant......a GOOD JOB......a drivers license.......a h ouse.......I mean it happens.......it took four years......so does it happen??? Yes.....but HE did it......NOT me......and that is the difference......FOUR years makes. He's now 22. </p><p></p><p>Not how I wanted things ------but it's not MY LIFE. Capish?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 558811, member: 4964"] wtwe, How did I know it was time? How does anyone know it's time? And I exhale/snort as I sit here and I think back and I take a long, long exhaused exhale, sigh....parental moan, draw my hand over my face, because I flash back to that day.....and all the other days, weeks, months and years before that - which collectively had become my life, my hell, my prison, my exhaustion, my embarassment, my demotion in dreams, my sadness. my loss of meaht. my loss of mental health, my increase in medications, my loss literally of hair, my increase in weight, my financial demise......and while the last thing I'll mention here truly doesn't bother me - my lack of "friends" because when I tell you he really cut the weak ones and the untrue ones from the herd? I'm not kidding - the only friends I have in the world - exist here - in cyber space. The ones in the real world could not handle our life. NO ONE wanted to be anywhere near what we had in our lives.......so how did I know? When I feared for my life, when I was called names that made a bikers jaw drop, and when I had no options left - no stone unturned......and sat and wondered - like you......but what if????? IF I put him out.....will HE die? Or if he stays will I die? And the therapist literally worried......it would be me. I worried if he stayed he would get to a point where we'd all end up on the news......and that's not an exaggeration in the least. So if you throw him out, put him out......send him elsewhere - however you need to put it to ease your mind (and you have to figure that out yourself) is there a chance that he could get worse? OF COURSE. Will he? Who knows. Did mine? ABSOLUTELY. Was it worth it? Yes. Why? Because it was THE ONLY way he every learned to APPRECIATE anything we had done for him, given him.....and could he get into trouble? Yup. Did he? OH you bet. He's now a convicted felon on probation......and what did that teach him? ........I can't bail him out. I didn't go there,,,,,,I didn't visit him......I haven't SEEN him in four years. (one time for 1/2 a day to pick up my Granddog) .......and in the mean time......he has a child......and.......... He's out of jail, paying probation.....in a nice home, GOT HIMSELF in school, working on getting a PELL grant......a GOOD JOB......a drivers license.......a h ouse.......I mean it happens.......it took four years......so does it happen??? Yes.....but HE did it......NOT me......and that is the difference......FOUR years makes. He's now 22. Not how I wanted things ------but it's not MY LIFE. Capish? [/QUOTE]
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