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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 559506" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>JJJ - Thank you. We had a meeting with difficult child last night because he was refusing to come home again (on a school night). We met him at a local coffee shop and explained our side of the situation. That he'd agreed to follow our rules but wasn't actually following them. All he seemed to want to do was argue.... So I said basically the following: </p><p>"You are a very independent young man with your own thoughts and ideas. It is obvious that you know what you want and that you want to set your own rules and ways of living. That's not ok in our home though so we are going to ask you to find a new place to stay. Social Services will help you with that and you should be able to find a place by December 1. In the meantime you are welcome to stay with us. I'm hoping that you'll still want to see us and spend some time with us. I'll pay your cell phone bill because I'd love to hear from you and know how you are doing and what's going on in your life. You're very smart and you're going to be just fine. We love you very much and want to maintain a good relationship with you." </p><p></p><p>Of course he didn't react very kindly to what was said but I did speak with him today and he was pretty civil. Of course I have his medications and he needs them. I'm picking him up and taking him to the doctors tomorrow to renew his prescription - we'll see how that goes. I asked him what his plans were as to whether he'd be staying with us until he found a place or not. He said he was going to stay at the homeless shelter tonight but that he may come home tomorrow night. So I said ok. I am guessing that he's going to feel the shelter out to see what it's like and then decide whether he wants to stay here for a month or there. </p><p></p><p>Witz - difficult child has hit husband in the face as well. Luckily for him the police didn't arrest him but gave him a stern talking to. He has been bullying me for months and for a while he was using his physical size against me. Not hitting me but standing over me and intimidating me. That got old really quick and I called the police on him a couple of times so when he starts that kind of thing now (physical intimidation or verbal abuse) I ask him to leave and if he won't I just pick up my cell phone. He knows I will call police now. </p><p></p><p>I just discovered this morning that he has stolen some US money out of my wallet. It was left over from a shopping trip last year and there was well over $100. There is $15 left. </p><p></p><p>Witz - I thought about whether or not I would do this if it was someone else and the answer is - a long time ago. husband and I have tolerated this for long enough. I know that some people tolerate less and some tolerate more but we have reached our limit. Now it is about salvaging what is left of our relationship with him. It's also about restoring peace to our home. And it's about restoring my health - I wake up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding and I'm hyperventilating. I'm so stressed out sometimes that I can't swallow. I'm worried about my health now. </p><p></p><p>I hope and pray that difficult child will start making some good decisions in his life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 559506, member: 14356"] JJJ - Thank you. We had a meeting with difficult child last night because he was refusing to come home again (on a school night). We met him at a local coffee shop and explained our side of the situation. That he'd agreed to follow our rules but wasn't actually following them. All he seemed to want to do was argue.... So I said basically the following: "You are a very independent young man with your own thoughts and ideas. It is obvious that you know what you want and that you want to set your own rules and ways of living. That's not ok in our home though so we are going to ask you to find a new place to stay. Social Services will help you with that and you should be able to find a place by December 1. In the meantime you are welcome to stay with us. I'm hoping that you'll still want to see us and spend some time with us. I'll pay your cell phone bill because I'd love to hear from you and know how you are doing and what's going on in your life. You're very smart and you're going to be just fine. We love you very much and want to maintain a good relationship with you." Of course he didn't react very kindly to what was said but I did speak with him today and he was pretty civil. Of course I have his medications and he needs them. I'm picking him up and taking him to the doctors tomorrow to renew his prescription - we'll see how that goes. I asked him what his plans were as to whether he'd be staying with us until he found a place or not. He said he was going to stay at the homeless shelter tonight but that he may come home tomorrow night. So I said ok. I am guessing that he's going to feel the shelter out to see what it's like and then decide whether he wants to stay here for a month or there. Witz - difficult child has hit husband in the face as well. Luckily for him the police didn't arrest him but gave him a stern talking to. He has been bullying me for months and for a while he was using his physical size against me. Not hitting me but standing over me and intimidating me. That got old really quick and I called the police on him a couple of times so when he starts that kind of thing now (physical intimidation or verbal abuse) I ask him to leave and if he won't I just pick up my cell phone. He knows I will call police now. I just discovered this morning that he has stolen some US money out of my wallet. It was left over from a shopping trip last year and there was well over $100. There is $15 left. Witz - I thought about whether or not I would do this if it was someone else and the answer is - a long time ago. husband and I have tolerated this for long enough. I know that some people tolerate less and some tolerate more but we have reached our limit. Now it is about salvaging what is left of our relationship with him. It's also about restoring peace to our home. And it's about restoring my health - I wake up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding and I'm hyperventilating. I'm so stressed out sometimes that I can't swallow. I'm worried about my health now. I hope and pray that difficult child will start making some good decisions in his life. [/QUOTE]
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