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How do I cope???
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<blockquote data-quote="TPaul" data-source="post: 307866" data-attributes="member: 8055"><p>Dear Southernchild,</p><p>I don't know anything about your relationship, but let me speak as a husband who has a wife and child with a challenging condition.</p><p> </p><p>Most men don't talk about the things they are feeling inside concerning situations that are going on and how they are dealing with them internally. We men are hard wired to have the need to FIX THINGS that we see are broke or not working properly. When we have no control over things like these conditions, many of us have a hard time dealing with something we can not fix. Having a spouse with a condition and adding a child with a condition, and it is more than can be digested and dealt with by many.</p><p> </p><p>I am not sure what kind of counciling you are attending, but let me ask what kind of things are discussed during these times. Does the conversations center on difficult child and what is going on? Does it center around only the problem areas and not re-affirm the positive aspects of your relationship?</p><p> </p><p>Does much of your time and energy center around difficult child and his condition, leaving the time for yourself and your husband to have quality time lagging behind? That can naturally happen, and usually does. However CO needs to be made to feel that he is not being left behind. </p><p> </p><p>I find myself struggling at times to not feel like being somewhere else when mania's are taking place around me. With my whole being I want to be here for my children and have a wonderful relationship with my wife. The reality though is that the struggles with BiPolar (BP) and other conditions will always be a part of our relationship. That has taken a great deal of time to adjust to, and to be truthful I am still adjusting to it.</p><p> </p><p>All that to say this, I guess, dealing with these adding things in a relationship take time, understanding and work to overcome. Take time to re-affirm you love for each other and your commitment to each other. </p><p> </p><p>ok, enough rambling,</p><p>T. Paul</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TPaul, post: 307866, member: 8055"] Dear Southernchild, I don't know anything about your relationship, but let me speak as a husband who has a wife and child with a challenging condition. Most men don't talk about the things they are feeling inside concerning situations that are going on and how they are dealing with them internally. We men are hard wired to have the need to FIX THINGS that we see are broke or not working properly. When we have no control over things like these conditions, many of us have a hard time dealing with something we can not fix. Having a spouse with a condition and adding a child with a condition, and it is more than can be digested and dealt with by many. I am not sure what kind of counciling you are attending, but let me ask what kind of things are discussed during these times. Does the conversations center on difficult child and what is going on? Does it center around only the problem areas and not re-affirm the positive aspects of your relationship? Does much of your time and energy center around difficult child and his condition, leaving the time for yourself and your husband to have quality time lagging behind? That can naturally happen, and usually does. However CO needs to be made to feel that he is not being left behind. I find myself struggling at times to not feel like being somewhere else when mania's are taking place around me. With my whole being I want to be here for my children and have a wonderful relationship with my wife. The reality though is that the struggles with BiPolar (BP) and other conditions will always be a part of our relationship. That has taken a great deal of time to adjust to, and to be truthful I am still adjusting to it. All that to say this, I guess, dealing with these adding things in a relationship take time, understanding and work to overcome. Take time to re-affirm you love for each other and your commitment to each other. ok, enough rambling, T. Paul [/QUOTE]
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