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How do I deal with the hurt
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 620309" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>One of the best ways to overcome feelings of guilt regarding the part your parenting played in what is happening to your sons is to read as many posts here as you can. It will not take very long before you see that when the issue is drug use, the stories are similar. When drug use is involved at any level, no matter how harmless the drug's reputation, the kids' behaviors are similar. They become irresponsible. They do not finish their educations. They come to hate their parents. They run with others whose value systems are as addled by drugs as their own.</p><p></p><p>They never have enough money.</p><p></p><p>They stop dressing well. Their cars are wrecked or destroyed piecemeal in the strangest ways.</p><p></p><p>There are so many parents here, Lulu. We are from all walks of life, we have raised our children with so many different kinds of parenting styles. Some of us are divorced. Some of us have been married, have been moms at home, have been on the PTA and in Scouts. Some of us have created successful careers and have all kinds of money to throw around, and some of us don't have two cents to rub together. </p><p></p><p>The one thing we all have in common, here on the site, is that we think something about the way we parented caused our beautiful, perfect children to fall into a lifestyle dominated by drugs.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry, Lulu. It wasn't you. It wasn't anything you did or did not do, or did or did not do often enough. I know that feeling of searching so desperately for that missing piece, for that magical something that will change this nightmare into the life you thought you were living with your children, with your sons.</p><p></p><p>I am truly sorry this is happening to you, Lulu. I am sorry for the paths your sons are walking, and I hope with all my heart that they can turn this around and reclaim the lives they are supposed to have.</p><p></p><p>Please do as Recovering Enabler suggested, Lulu. Read the short piece on detachment pinned to the top of this page. That will be a start, for you. As you read our stories, here and on Substance Abuse, you will find other parents too, who can help you understand.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you found us.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 620309, member: 17461"] One of the best ways to overcome feelings of guilt regarding the part your parenting played in what is happening to your sons is to read as many posts here as you can. It will not take very long before you see that when the issue is drug use, the stories are similar. When drug use is involved at any level, no matter how harmless the drug's reputation, the kids' behaviors are similar. They become irresponsible. They do not finish their educations. They come to hate their parents. They run with others whose value systems are as addled by drugs as their own. They never have enough money. They stop dressing well. Their cars are wrecked or destroyed piecemeal in the strangest ways. There are so many parents here, Lulu. We are from all walks of life, we have raised our children with so many different kinds of parenting styles. Some of us are divorced. Some of us have been married, have been moms at home, have been on the PTA and in Scouts. Some of us have created successful careers and have all kinds of money to throw around, and some of us don't have two cents to rub together. The one thing we all have in common, here on the site, is that we think something about the way we parented caused our beautiful, perfect children to fall into a lifestyle dominated by drugs. I'm sorry, Lulu. It wasn't you. It wasn't anything you did or did not do, or did or did not do often enough. I know that feeling of searching so desperately for that missing piece, for that magical something that will change this nightmare into the life you thought you were living with your children, with your sons. I am truly sorry this is happening to you, Lulu. I am sorry for the paths your sons are walking, and I hope with all my heart that they can turn this around and reclaim the lives they are supposed to have. Please do as Recovering Enabler suggested, Lulu. Read the short piece on detachment pinned to the top of this page. That will be a start, for you. As you read our stories, here and on Substance Abuse, you will find other parents too, who can help you understand. I am glad you found us. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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