exDH andI have joint legal custody of our kids (ages 12, 16 and 18), and the parenting plan we filed at the time of the divorce called for our son to live with dad, daughters to live with me (we live in the same town, 2 miles apart.) Since then, oldest turned 18, child support stopped adn she elected to move in with dad (bigger house, no mom nagging her to clean up her room, no nagging to do chores). Several months ago youngest daughter, the 12 yr old, decided to start spending weekend nights at dad's house (after a long period of ignoring her dad and refusing to visit him). I encouraged it, wanted her to have a closer relationship with her dad and to spend time with her siblings (son hasn't lived with me since 2004 due to his behavior/ODD). Gradually, she started spendign one school night, then another, then another, until she was basically living at dad's full time. I would pick her up from school, bring her to my house for a snack and to call her friends, then bring her to dad's house. Her older sister and brother were at home, as well as a 16 yr old German exchange student living at exDH's house. I chalked it up to the comparative luxury of dad's house (6,000 sq ft on 3 acres vs. my 2000 sq ft box) as well as not having to live by my rules. I also was feeling very depressed and worn down at the time and relished the calm and quiet after a very stressful period involving my two oldest kids and their drug issues and anti-social behavior. I thought if I didn't have a break I would end up in a padded room. Her dad has filed a motion to stop paying me child support, which didn't surprise me, but now I'm in turmoil because I'm going to have to decide whether my daughter should reside with me again or let her stay with her dad, adn it's not just about the money. The German girl is leaving in five weeks and my two oldest kids, well, they aren't the best role models. My exDH leaves the house six days a week at 7 am and returns around 6 p.m. There is zero parental supervision most of the time. ExDH makes dinner for the kids (none of them do chores, cook or clean), usually pizza or pasta with jarred tomato sauce, then he watches TV until 9 and falls asleep. He never seems to be awake when the kids come in at night, particularly on weekends. I never go to bed before my kids get in. I found out recently that the older kids sometimes smoke cigarettes and weed in the house after dad has gone to bed. He's oblivious. I spoke to my easy child this afternoon about moving back in with me fulltime, but being able to visit dad and his house whenever she wanted. She wants to stay at dad's, doesn't think she needs more supervision (of course she doesn't, she's 12 going on 18). I didn't expect anything different. She's had too much freedom and now I'm reigning it in. My therapist said that since she's only 12 she has to abide by the court ordered parenting plan, and can't have a say in where she lives. But how do I get her to move back in with me if she doesn't want to budge? Do I call the cops and have them carry her out to a waiting squad car. I'm sick about this. I made a mistake that I dont' know how to fix. Does anyone have a suggestion? Thanks.