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How do I get him to wipe?
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<blockquote data-quote="rlsnights" data-source="post: 411142" data-attributes="member: 7948"><p>The physical coordination required to wipe after a bm is actually pretty complex. My son is 15 and only recent appears to have gotten good at it. When my son was about your son's age I was frustrated for the same kind of reason. His pediatrician said it is not uncommon for boys in particular to have trouble with this and to expect it might take a few years.</p><p></p><p>Not wanting to go to the bathroom at school is also pretty common for both girls and boys according to my daughter's pediatrician.</p><p></p><p>My suggestion is that you consider taking a behavioral approach with peeing in the bathroom at home. If you can get him confident there then he may be able to get more confident away from home. I'd approach it the same way as if you were potty training him all over again. First he gets a reward or star on his chart for going in the bathroom by himself and leaving the door open while he pees. Then he gets a reward for going pee when he closes the door. You could try putting the little targets in the toilet for him to shoot. If his father is in the picture make sure he's participating in giving him rewards so he knows he's got Dad's attention too.</p><p></p><p>As for the bm's. My son has had constipation due to his Crohn's for several years. In the process we have learned a lot about managing that bodily process.</p><p></p><p>The human body is designed to have a bm about 20 to 30 minutes after eating. What we were told to do that was helpful was to have my son eat his meal and then go and sit on the toilet for at least 10 minutes. When he was younger we did a chart with a star every time he sat for 10 minutes following a meal. What's supposed to happen is that he will start to have a bm after a meal with predictable regularity. And he will have learned to go sit and expect that to happen. Hopefully he will end up going after breakfast before he leaves for school.</p><p></p><p>He may need Dad to get specific about helping him figure out how to wipe. I would get flushable wipes if the texture won't bother him and one of those baby wipe warmers so they're not cold when he uses them. If it's a matter of poor motor coordination you can get a tool from the medical supply store that's used by disabled people to help them wipe. You put TP in the end of an curved sort of wand and you use it to wipe. Depending on the design he may not even have to touch the dirty TP to put it in the toilet in case that's part of the problem.</p><p></p><p>Another option would be to get a bidet attachment for your toilet for him to use after he's wiped.</p><p></p><p>Finally, I would also just be no-nonsense with him and show him how to swish his underwear out when they get poopy and what to do with them after that.</p><p></p><p>Good luck,</p><p></p><p>Patricia</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rlsnights, post: 411142, member: 7948"] The physical coordination required to wipe after a bm is actually pretty complex. My son is 15 and only recent appears to have gotten good at it. When my son was about your son's age I was frustrated for the same kind of reason. His pediatrician said it is not uncommon for boys in particular to have trouble with this and to expect it might take a few years. Not wanting to go to the bathroom at school is also pretty common for both girls and boys according to my daughter's pediatrician. My suggestion is that you consider taking a behavioral approach with peeing in the bathroom at home. If you can get him confident there then he may be able to get more confident away from home. I'd approach it the same way as if you were potty training him all over again. First he gets a reward or star on his chart for going in the bathroom by himself and leaving the door open while he pees. Then he gets a reward for going pee when he closes the door. You could try putting the little targets in the toilet for him to shoot. If his father is in the picture make sure he's participating in giving him rewards so he knows he's got Dad's attention too. As for the bm's. My son has had constipation due to his Crohn's for several years. In the process we have learned a lot about managing that bodily process. The human body is designed to have a bm about 20 to 30 minutes after eating. What we were told to do that was helpful was to have my son eat his meal and then go and sit on the toilet for at least 10 minutes. When he was younger we did a chart with a star every time he sat for 10 minutes following a meal. What's supposed to happen is that he will start to have a bm after a meal with predictable regularity. And he will have learned to go sit and expect that to happen. Hopefully he will end up going after breakfast before he leaves for school. He may need Dad to get specific about helping him figure out how to wipe. I would get flushable wipes if the texture won't bother him and one of those baby wipe warmers so they're not cold when he uses them. If it's a matter of poor motor coordination you can get a tool from the medical supply store that's used by disabled people to help them wipe. You put TP in the end of an curved sort of wand and you use it to wipe. Depending on the design he may not even have to touch the dirty TP to put it in the toilet in case that's part of the problem. Another option would be to get a bidet attachment for your toilet for him to use after he's wiped. Finally, I would also just be no-nonsense with him and show him how to swish his underwear out when they get poopy and what to do with them after that. Good luck, Patricia [/QUOTE]
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