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How do I get husband to agree?
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<blockquote data-quote="VickiL" data-source="post: 187335" data-attributes="member: 93"><p>Thank you all for being here for me! Yes, husband is right. And all of you are right and I still know it - a threat is a threat and it DID scare the bejezeers out of me. After I wrote my rant J called and just verified what I know to be true...he is just a jerk. He is a 21 year old acting like a two year old, just because we haven't welcomed him back with open arms. And yes, he is using the baby as a weapon, but now that I have come to my senses once again, I am okay with how things are. It is up to him to prove to me and to husband that he is doing something about his anger. That and he is an ADULT and needs to start acting like one. I know he knows he is in the wrong and instead of apologizing to me, the hurt little boy comes out and acts like a jerk. Oh well, K is too little to know what's going on and while I may miss her, I do not want to be in on all the drama with her mom and dad. His girlfriend just goes along with whatever J tells her. I still love my granddaughter and that won't ever change. I do know that she is being taken care of and while I may not get along with her mom or dad, they are very, very good parents to her.</p><p></p><p>For my youngest, well, he is not manipulating me. If anything, he is being more than honest. The child cannot lie to me to save his life. He is very unhappy down at his dad's and has been since his dad and long-time girlfriend broke up. Now he is shacked up with a woman who is a past meth-head who is still on probation for a very, very heavy drug charge. I talked to A tonight and he does not want to live in the town where he is at any longer. It is in the biggest meth county in the state, if not in the country. He actually wants to be with husband and I because he has way more supervision, structure and rules here and he likes that. I know that sounds strange, but he is my one child who always has liked structure and superivision. I know that he will be fine if we decide that he needs to stay down there, but I have to weigh all of the facts like who he is now living with and what goes along with that. His dad was with his ex-girlfriend for 8 years and she used to babysit my kids, so I knew her very well. Now there is an ex-druggie living there and I don't know if I like that or not. I cannot tell my ex who to date or live with, but I don't have to have my kid live with her. I did tell A that husband and I would have to talk about it and would let him know when we did. </p><p></p><p>And as far as being lonely, I am just having a bad day. Well, a bad week actually. I get very emotional this time of year. My dad passed away 15 years ago on Aug. 27 and his birthday was Aug. 19. I know better than to try and deal with major life changes during this week. It doesn't matter that it's been 15 years...it seems like yesterday to me. I miss him so much still to this day.</p><p></p><p>My life really is very good. I have a job I love and I do have friends here. We just all have our own lives and don't get together much. I re-read my post and boy did I make it seem like my life was horrible. husband is the love of my life and while he may be pig headed about some things, he treats me like a queen and makes me laugh everyday. That's saying something for having known each other so long. I do belong to a gym, but cannot go until the neurosurgeon releases me to. I do miss it and hope after my surgery next month I can start going again. </p><p></p><p>I was really in pity party mode this morning. Meloncholy, too. Missing my dad and all. I'm back to feeling much better tonight! </p><p></p><p>Star, thank you for making me giggle, even though I know you didn't mean to. You really get it...and thank you for making me really get it.</p><p></p><p>husband loves me and loves our granddaughter. He even loves A, too. J, no way, probably not ever, but that's okay, too. I love my son, but I don't like him and really do like that we haven't had to deal with the drama. The baby is always welcome here as long as I pick her up or they meet me somewhere for me to get her. I think that I am just going to concentrate on getting my neck and shoulder better so that I can pick her up and let the chips fall where they may with the oldest. And as far as the youngest, husband and I will have to talk and if we feel that the new girlfriend of his dad's is not the type of person we want around him, he may come back here. </p><p></p><p>Again, I have written a novel, but it feels good to get it out of my system. Thank you all for being such good friends and for being honest with me. I don't come here to get "sugar coated" answers. You all always make me see things a lot more clearly!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="VickiL, post: 187335, member: 93"] Thank you all for being here for me! Yes, husband is right. And all of you are right and I still know it - a threat is a threat and it DID scare the bejezeers out of me. After I wrote my rant J called and just verified what I know to be true...he is just a jerk. He is a 21 year old acting like a two year old, just because we haven't welcomed him back with open arms. And yes, he is using the baby as a weapon, but now that I have come to my senses once again, I am okay with how things are. It is up to him to prove to me and to husband that he is doing something about his anger. That and he is an ADULT and needs to start acting like one. I know he knows he is in the wrong and instead of apologizing to me, the hurt little boy comes out and acts like a jerk. Oh well, K is too little to know what's going on and while I may miss her, I do not want to be in on all the drama with her mom and dad. His girlfriend just goes along with whatever J tells her. I still love my granddaughter and that won't ever change. I do know that she is being taken care of and while I may not get along with her mom or dad, they are very, very good parents to her. For my youngest, well, he is not manipulating me. If anything, he is being more than honest. The child cannot lie to me to save his life. He is very unhappy down at his dad's and has been since his dad and long-time girlfriend broke up. Now he is shacked up with a woman who is a past meth-head who is still on probation for a very, very heavy drug charge. I talked to A tonight and he does not want to live in the town where he is at any longer. It is in the biggest meth county in the state, if not in the country. He actually wants to be with husband and I because he has way more supervision, structure and rules here and he likes that. I know that sounds strange, but he is my one child who always has liked structure and superivision. I know that he will be fine if we decide that he needs to stay down there, but I have to weigh all of the facts like who he is now living with and what goes along with that. His dad was with his ex-girlfriend for 8 years and she used to babysit my kids, so I knew her very well. Now there is an ex-druggie living there and I don't know if I like that or not. I cannot tell my ex who to date or live with, but I don't have to have my kid live with her. I did tell A that husband and I would have to talk about it and would let him know when we did. And as far as being lonely, I am just having a bad day. Well, a bad week actually. I get very emotional this time of year. My dad passed away 15 years ago on Aug. 27 and his birthday was Aug. 19. I know better than to try and deal with major life changes during this week. It doesn't matter that it's been 15 years...it seems like yesterday to me. I miss him so much still to this day. My life really is very good. I have a job I love and I do have friends here. We just all have our own lives and don't get together much. I re-read my post and boy did I make it seem like my life was horrible. husband is the love of my life and while he may be pig headed about some things, he treats me like a queen and makes me laugh everyday. That's saying something for having known each other so long. I do belong to a gym, but cannot go until the neurosurgeon releases me to. I do miss it and hope after my surgery next month I can start going again. I was really in pity party mode this morning. Meloncholy, too. Missing my dad and all. I'm back to feeling much better tonight! Star, thank you for making me giggle, even though I know you didn't mean to. You really get it...and thank you for making me really get it. husband loves me and loves our granddaughter. He even loves A, too. J, no way, probably not ever, but that's okay, too. I love my son, but I don't like him and really do like that we haven't had to deal with the drama. The baby is always welcome here as long as I pick her up or they meet me somewhere for me to get her. I think that I am just going to concentrate on getting my neck and shoulder better so that I can pick her up and let the chips fall where they may with the oldest. And as far as the youngest, husband and I will have to talk and if we feel that the new girlfriend of his dad's is not the type of person we want around him, he may come back here. Again, I have written a novel, but it feels good to get it out of my system. Thank you all for being such good friends and for being honest with me. I don't come here to get "sugar coated" answers. You all always make me see things a lot more clearly! [/QUOTE]
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