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How do I parent?
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 659296" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Hello and welcome to the SA forum. I have never heard of apathy syndrome but I think smoking a lot of pot does make people apathetic.</p><p></p><p>You cannot control your son's smoking. He will get pot if he wants it badly enough. So the question is what can you control. The answer to that is the only thing that you can control is yourself and your reaction to what is happening.</p><p></p><p>Can you be happy letting your 19-year-old son live with you doing nothing but smoking pot? Because it is not going to change as long as that is what he wants to do.</p><p></p><p>So, if the answer is no, then you need to give him a choice. He can get treatment (I suggest in-patient rehab) and then a sober living facility or he can get a job and move out and act like an adult. He doesn't get to live off of you doing nothing but smoking pot all day and all night.</p><p></p><p>As far as being depressed, that is a hard call. Drug use can cause depression and depression can cause drug use. You can't know anything for sure as long as he is using drugs. He needs to be completely off them for a period of time before a doctor can assess the mental health aspect.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, get support for yourself. I found private therapy very helpful in learning to set boundaries with my substance abusing daughter. I wish I had started therapy at the beginning of this sad hard journey down the rabbit hole. Others find support groups like AlAnon, NarAnon, CODA, or Families Anonymous helpful.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting, too. All of us understand what you are going through and are here to offer support and advice. Take what helps and leave the rest behind because we have a lot of opinions. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 659296, member: 1967"] Hello and welcome to the SA forum. I have never heard of apathy syndrome but I think smoking a lot of pot does make people apathetic. You cannot control your son's smoking. He will get pot if he wants it badly enough. So the question is what can you control. The answer to that is the only thing that you can control is yourself and your reaction to what is happening. Can you be happy letting your 19-year-old son live with you doing nothing but smoking pot? Because it is not going to change as long as that is what he wants to do. So, if the answer is no, then you need to give him a choice. He can get treatment (I suggest in-patient rehab) and then a sober living facility or he can get a job and move out and act like an adult. He doesn't get to live off of you doing nothing but smoking pot all day and all night. As far as being depressed, that is a hard call. Drug use can cause depression and depression can cause drug use. You can't know anything for sure as long as he is using drugs. He needs to be completely off them for a period of time before a doctor can assess the mental health aspect. In the meantime, get support for yourself. I found private therapy very helpful in learning to set boundaries with my substance abusing daughter. I wish I had started therapy at the beginning of this sad hard journey down the rabbit hole. Others find support groups like AlAnon, NarAnon, CODA, or Families Anonymous helpful. Keep posting, too. All of us understand what you are going through and are here to offer support and advice. Take what helps and leave the rest behind because we have a lot of opinions. :) ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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