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Substance Abuse
How do parents deal with the pain?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tia" data-source="post: 678127" data-attributes="member: 19992"><p>Thank you all for your support. My husband and I have had many discussions regarding enabling because of what I have read. Although we have not been able to agree on everything we are talking things through trying to make the right decisions to help ourselves. </p><p></p><p>Our 17 year old Difficult Child actually called twice on Sunday night from the hospital to talk, the final conversation was ended because it was quiet time and the phone was no longer available for patients. She called back every few minutes on Monday morning asking when we were coming. Her sister had also come home from university because Difficult Child had called her crying and older sister wanted to support Difficult Child as well as us. During these brief phone calls she kept asking where we were and when we would get to the hospital, called me a liar at one point because I had told her we were on our way, but hadn't arrived at the hospital because we were running errands. Husband and I decided not to run over to the hospital immediately just because she wanted us to, we were going to do what we needed to do on our time! Before leaving the house I spoke to the social worker at the hospital for some advice and was able to vent as well. When we arrived at the hospital she did not want to see dad, but saw sister and I. When the psychiatrist arrived to evaluate her(day 7) he included the whole family. The blame game started she did not take responsibility for anything and blamed everything on us, no surprise to us because of all the reading we've done. The doctor had to leave for a while to deal with another patient and she got very angry saying that she knew stuff about her dad that would make me divorce him. She made him leave the room and then said she had something on me too??? We have no idea what she was talking about!! Older sister thought behaviour was not acceptable and tried to discuss with her which caused her turn on sister. When the doctor came back he spoke to Difficult Child for a few minutes alone and then asked us to return. Told us she was not in danger to herself or others and decided to release her...no diagnosis. When he saw my face drop he asked the girls to leave and spoke to dad and I. They were sitting right outside the door and probably heard the brief discussion. She is a teenager, using to much pot she should cut back...and you all need to give and take?! WHAT JUST HAPPENED??? Needless to say, we all left together, older sister went back to university. Husband and I tried to keep things calm. She looked all over the house for her phone as soon as she arrived at the house and could not find it. Dad let her use his phone, she will not get my phone I have decided. She contacted her friends and is back to behaviour. She tried to sneak out at 2:30 a.m. but the dog started barking when she unlocked the door and woke me. When I went downstairs she said she didn't know what was going on. No longer in pj's and coat and boots were out in the open. I asked her if she had gone out, she replied NO. Door was unlocked, which dad and I know it was. Went back to bed and heard her leave a few minutes later. It is 4:30 a.m. now and she is still out. She made some bad contacts, dad checked history on the phone. He is now resting on the couch waiting for her return. I am wide awake with a pounding headache in my room.</p><p>There is just so much going on I cant write about everything!! Our neighbours wrestled down 3 teen in the community earlier on trying to break into vehicles (no connection to our Difficult Child) police were in our community and know at least I don't have to explain to her why we are having security system installed this week, but her behaviour is the main reason. I am full of anxiety and fearful of being in my home and fearful of leaving her alone not knowing who she'll bring in sneak in! Told my husband when she arrives if anyone is with her they are not welcome in our home and if she chooses to go that is her choice. I cannot live like this!</p><p>I am off work this week because of my stress, her school is out for exams and I cant imagine being able to function at work.</p><p>Feeling like I want to run away from here...sell the houses...I don't know what to feel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tia, post: 678127, member: 19992"] Thank you all for your support. My husband and I have had many discussions regarding enabling because of what I have read. Although we have not been able to agree on everything we are talking things through trying to make the right decisions to help ourselves. Our 17 year old Difficult Child actually called twice on Sunday night from the hospital to talk, the final conversation was ended because it was quiet time and the phone was no longer available for patients. She called back every few minutes on Monday morning asking when we were coming. Her sister had also come home from university because Difficult Child had called her crying and older sister wanted to support Difficult Child as well as us. During these brief phone calls she kept asking where we were and when we would get to the hospital, called me a liar at one point because I had told her we were on our way, but hadn't arrived at the hospital because we were running errands. Husband and I decided not to run over to the hospital immediately just because she wanted us to, we were going to do what we needed to do on our time! Before leaving the house I spoke to the social worker at the hospital for some advice and was able to vent as well. When we arrived at the hospital she did not want to see dad, but saw sister and I. When the psychiatrist arrived to evaluate her(day 7) he included the whole family. The blame game started she did not take responsibility for anything and blamed everything on us, no surprise to us because of all the reading we've done. The doctor had to leave for a while to deal with another patient and she got very angry saying that she knew stuff about her dad that would make me divorce him. She made him leave the room and then said she had something on me too??? We have no idea what she was talking about!! Older sister thought behaviour was not acceptable and tried to discuss with her which caused her turn on sister. When the doctor came back he spoke to Difficult Child for a few minutes alone and then asked us to return. Told us she was not in danger to herself or others and decided to release her...no diagnosis. When he saw my face drop he asked the girls to leave and spoke to dad and I. They were sitting right outside the door and probably heard the brief discussion. She is a teenager, using to much pot she should cut back...and you all need to give and take?! WHAT JUST HAPPENED??? Needless to say, we all left together, older sister went back to university. Husband and I tried to keep things calm. She looked all over the house for her phone as soon as she arrived at the house and could not find it. Dad let her use his phone, she will not get my phone I have decided. She contacted her friends and is back to behaviour. She tried to sneak out at 2:30 a.m. but the dog started barking when she unlocked the door and woke me. When I went downstairs she said she didn't know what was going on. No longer in pj's and coat and boots were out in the open. I asked her if she had gone out, she replied NO. Door was unlocked, which dad and I know it was. Went back to bed and heard her leave a few minutes later. It is 4:30 a.m. now and she is still out. She made some bad contacts, dad checked history on the phone. He is now resting on the couch waiting for her return. I am wide awake with a pounding headache in my room. There is just so much going on I cant write about everything!! Our neighbours wrestled down 3 teen in the community earlier on trying to break into vehicles (no connection to our Difficult Child) police were in our community and know at least I don't have to explain to her why we are having security system installed this week, but her behaviour is the main reason. I am full of anxiety and fearful of being in my home and fearful of leaving her alone not knowing who she'll bring in sneak in! Told my husband when she arrives if anyone is with her they are not welcome in our home and if she chooses to go that is her choice. I cannot live like this! I am off work this week because of my stress, her school is out for exams and I cant imagine being able to function at work. Feeling like I want to run away from here...sell the houses...I don't know what to feel. [/QUOTE]
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