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How do u handle "It's not FAIR"??
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<blockquote data-quote="P-nut2004" data-source="post: 421822" data-attributes="member: 11740"><p>One of the recurring issues I have with all 3 kids is explaining things they think are 'unfair'.... difficult child thinks its unfair that the PCs get to do lots of things she can't do; they are allowed to have caffeine on occasion, are less limited on sweets, can leave the yard to ride bikes etc, can use scissors/ knives etc, are allowed to shut their door....the list goes on & on, and I can't justify all of it by age anymore, difficult child is realizing she is very limited compared to friends her age as well. In contrast, the PCs find it very unfair that difficult child has little responsibility, she doesn't have chores like they do, doesn't have to clean her room (sometimes I make her help me), gets more flexibility on her homework & gets away with some things they would be in trouble for because I have to pick my battles with her. How do I explain to the PCs that difficult child is different without it coming off in a negative manner or being something they tease her about?? How do I explain to difficult child that the PCs can handle things she cannot without lowering her self esteem? I have been using the "you're to young/ too little" excuse until now but she has seen through that & I don't know how to manage this issue without causing difficult child to feel disabled or causing the PCs to treat her differently. I am petrified that explaining things the wrong way will backfire. Right now difficult child does good in school, she is scoring above grade level & only her teachers know her diagnosis, since starting medications she has been much more focused and easy for them to work with. difficult child is very big on excuses and I am afraid that explaining her diagnosis to her will just give her a new excuse. She has also started to question why she takes 6 medications a day & PCs dont (3 are behavioral, 1 is for bedwetting & isnt working, one is for bowel issues & she's on a maint antibiotic for recurring UTIs). I have explained the medications for her bladder & bowel issues but the others she just knows help her feel better, which honestly only seems to work while she's at school. She misses a few hours of school every friday for her therapist & classmates have started to ask about that as well. I have enough trouble explaining her diagnosis to adults, any advice on how to handle the kids would be greatly appreciated <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="P-nut2004, post: 421822, member: 11740"] One of the recurring issues I have with all 3 kids is explaining things they think are 'unfair'.... difficult child thinks its unfair that the PCs get to do lots of things she can't do; they are allowed to have caffeine on occasion, are less limited on sweets, can leave the yard to ride bikes etc, can use scissors/ knives etc, are allowed to shut their door....the list goes on & on, and I can't justify all of it by age anymore, difficult child is realizing she is very limited compared to friends her age as well. In contrast, the PCs find it very unfair that difficult child has little responsibility, she doesn't have chores like they do, doesn't have to clean her room (sometimes I make her help me), gets more flexibility on her homework & gets away with some things they would be in trouble for because I have to pick my battles with her. How do I explain to the PCs that difficult child is different without it coming off in a negative manner or being something they tease her about?? How do I explain to difficult child that the PCs can handle things she cannot without lowering her self esteem? I have been using the "you're to young/ too little" excuse until now but she has seen through that & I don't know how to manage this issue without causing difficult child to feel disabled or causing the PCs to treat her differently. I am petrified that explaining things the wrong way will backfire. Right now difficult child does good in school, she is scoring above grade level & only her teachers know her diagnosis, since starting medications she has been much more focused and easy for them to work with. difficult child is very big on excuses and I am afraid that explaining her diagnosis to her will just give her a new excuse. She has also started to question why she takes 6 medications a day & PCs dont (3 are behavioral, 1 is for bedwetting & isnt working, one is for bowel issues & she's on a maint antibiotic for recurring UTIs). I have explained the medications for her bladder & bowel issues but the others she just knows help her feel better, which honestly only seems to work while she's at school. She misses a few hours of school every friday for her therapist & classmates have started to ask about that as well. I have enough trouble explaining her diagnosis to adults, any advice on how to handle the kids would be greatly appreciated :) [/QUOTE]
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