how do you cut an umbilical cord-

[mrscatinthehat]

you never had?

difficult child 1 just moved into her new home on Friday. It is a house that she rents with four other women. It has 24 hour staff but it is a whole different environment. husband and I took furniture and other essentials out to her. Bought her a mattress and other such things. I wanted to help her put things away and make the bed and such. I didn't but I sure wanted to.

At one point over the course of the day I was really hungry and thought it would be good to go eat somewhere. She looked at husband and I and said go get something to eat that she would just stay there. What?!??!?! Ok, I guess.

We do have guardianship and what not. She can't go anywere without staff unless she is with us at this point but she wanted to stay with her new friends.

We picked her last thing up from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) without her. I darn near cried (ok I did cry but blamed it on sweat in my eyes from the heat). I gave them a plant and a thank you for all that they did for difficult child 1. I totally surprised them. But I could not let it pass that they were the best set of people that we have worked with.

So we dropped off the last of the stuff and decided we needed to head home ( I would have gladly stayed longer). husband did not rush me but said when I was ready we could go.

When we got in the car and drove away I asked him when I grew an umbilical cord to her as I was having difficulty cutting it. He laughed.

Beth

 

[flutterbee]

Do mom's ever really do that? We send our kids out into the world, but we worry and hope and pray and laugh and cry right along with them.

This is a huge change for difficult child 1. I understand your being so emotional.

I wouldn't worry about that cord. It's part of being a mom.

(((hugs)))

 

[Abbey]

Sounds like she's ready for a break and this is the best place for her to find that. It's nice that she is supervised. Don't take it personally.

Abbey

 

[meowbunny]

You just had an invisible cord. It is surprising to discover just how much we do care sometimes and how little they do. Many hugs.

 

[Andy]

You are just visiting some broken dreams. Another chapter in her life is starting and it just isn't where you had dream she would be at this point in her life when you brought her home as a newborn.

She is safe and is adjusting to where she is now so that will help.

Cut that cord and then work on a new relationship with her. It sounds to me that she is now ready to have a good relationship with you and maybe in this new one she will be more willing to learn everything you have tried to teach her.

 

[Star*]

I was going to say maybe dental floss or a kitchen knife - LORD do NOT scare me like that again!! I thought you were delivering a baby!!!!

Ah Beth - you know the plant and kind words to those people at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) are too few and far between. How very nice of you to recognize their hard work in all of this. It would be nice if your difficult child would tell you she's thankful for all of your hard work too. And you know I think that will come, someday for you and you alone. You've worked tirelessly with this kid. Your kid - the love of your life.

As far as cutting the invisible cord? Take my heartfelt knowledge - YOU never loose a daughter - they go their own way, strive to be independent and someday SOMEDAY maybe when she has children of her own or not - something will allow her to understand what pain you went through for love of her.

If we got merit badges or something when our kids did GREAT things that seem normal to everyone else - we'd have something to touch and admire - right now - you're just going to have to find a way to admire yourself for this great feat as much as I do.

I'm very proud of you!

Star

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Beth,

I am so pleased to hear about your daughter's new set up! Great to see you here again. (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

 

[Steely]

It sounds like such a positive step........but I know how hard it is to let our kids go. It is harder than just about anything we have to do as a parent.

Hugs.

 

[Hound dog]

A new chapter has begun. It's quite normal for us Mom's to get weepy about it.

I'm glad you gave the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff a gift. I'm sure they don't get near enough thanks for all their hard work.

Way to go MOM! I'm so proud of you!!!

((hugs))

 

[TerryJ2]

Ohhh. That is so sweet. It's amazing how we can love our broken children.
She sounds like she's in a great place.
And that was thoughtful of you to drop off the plant. I'm sure those people don't get enough thankyou's.

 

[everywoman]

I'm glad she has found a safe place. How sweet of you to think of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff. I'm sure they don't get that often. It's really hard to go from being a mommy to a mom. I still have a hard time with mine not needing me as much---not all the time---but I have my moments. At least you know she's safe---And she's not living with you 24/7.