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How do you deal with difficult people?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 607602" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>MWM, I'm sorry you had to leave your volunteer job, but it certainly sounds like you made the right choice. Sometimes all we can do is exit from drama.</p><p></p><p>I think each scenario with a difficult person is unique and would require a different solution. As you just encountered with Jane, in this scenario, it was best to leave to protect yourself in an environment which was not going to protect you.</p><p></p><p>I have had many difficult people presented to me in my life, as we all have. For me, the ways I deal with it is, first I look at myself and try to find any possible way I may have contributed to this issue. If I have I will work that out for myself. I believe, for me, that we attract certain people and scenarios to learn from. So, this could be a lesson for me to change me, or to walk away, or to address it, or to ignore it. Looking at it that way is empowering, I am not a victim of another, instead it's a life lesson.</p><p></p><p>I always try honesty first, I try to express my own truth and what my needs are. It's not for a desired outcome though, I think that's where we can fall short, if we're attached to a certain outcome, we really won't be communicating clearly, we will be trying to get that outcome. Once I get clear on that, I tell the truth. Sometimes I get what I want, sometimes I don't. But what I always get is the satisfaction of expressing myself truthfully. That means a lot to me. I realize that others don't consider that important, but it is important to me. I can then move on knowing I did my best, I then have no regrets and can walk away feeling 'clean.'</p><p></p><p>I think you did a good job. You did what you could and you couldn't change it. So, moving on is the best option.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 607602, member: 13542"] MWM, I'm sorry you had to leave your volunteer job, but it certainly sounds like you made the right choice. Sometimes all we can do is exit from drama. I think each scenario with a difficult person is unique and would require a different solution. As you just encountered with Jane, in this scenario, it was best to leave to protect yourself in an environment which was not going to protect you. I have had many difficult people presented to me in my life, as we all have. For me, the ways I deal with it is, first I look at myself and try to find any possible way I may have contributed to this issue. If I have I will work that out for myself. I believe, for me, that we attract certain people and scenarios to learn from. So, this could be a lesson for me to change me, or to walk away, or to address it, or to ignore it. Looking at it that way is empowering, I am not a victim of another, instead it's a life lesson. I always try honesty first, I try to express my own truth and what my needs are. It's not for a desired outcome though, I think that's where we can fall short, if we're attached to a certain outcome, we really won't be communicating clearly, we will be trying to get that outcome. Once I get clear on that, I tell the truth. Sometimes I get what I want, sometimes I don't. But what I always get is the satisfaction of expressing myself truthfully. That means a lot to me. I realize that others don't consider that important, but it is important to me. I can then move on knowing I did my best, I then have no regrets and can walk away feeling 'clean.' I think you did a good job. You did what you could and you couldn't change it. So, moving on is the best option. [/QUOTE]
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