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How do you deal with your difficult child's insults, etc?
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 493088" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'">In Green's other book, Lost at School (which is very practical-step by step) you actually "collaborate" with the kid for solutions. "What should happen when you do X?"</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">One of my favorite and most successful interventions when my son was young and I was teaching kindergarten was a strategy I got from the "Tough Kid Tool Box", by Jensen. It was called "Bumpy Bunny Timeout". At home we had one of my son's favorite toys which we placed on the window sill (low and visible). There were marks (tape) along the way where this toy, the proverbial "Bunny", could move to. Kind of a race track. There was also a timeout "mat" made from paper. I found this strategy easy to use and my son (who had some of these same melt-down moments) had less of a problem moving this toy along the track forward or backward or to time out if need be-it was a consequence that he accepted.. When he was doing well, the toy got moved along (when it reached its destination he got time to play with it) and he would often ask me to notice his good behavior (self-advocacy at 4/5/6). There were those times when he had to put it into timeout. We had negotiated the whole thing during a quiet moment. It was very effective for some time. Of course we changed the toy from time to time to keep motivation. The goal for me was to increase the positive interactions. (There is a whole new parenting book out about this-name escapes me.) When those interactions are increased really great stuff happens for kids. They start to feel competent, they want these + interactions with their parent, that negative feedback loop ends. It forced me to focus on the positive and notice more. I never threatened that I would be having him move his toy or anything. It was all matter of fact-we had practiced it all during a calm time. He also knew that throwing a fit about moving it would result in the toy being in time out for X amount of time.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">I have never had the physical stuff coming at me, but I did have royal- throws myself on the floor stuff. This ended well before he started school. I did have some very seriously disabled kiddos in my kindergarten Special Education. group-they were inclusion kids and I co-taught with the regular ed. teacher. It worked pretty well there as well.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">I agree with the others to withdraw yourself from the room if you can when he gets physical (kicking chair) or verbally aggressive. But you should always revisit the situation when he is calm (maybe next day) I agree also about cutting TV time and overstimulation in the evening.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 493088, member: 11001"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Calibri]In Green's other book, Lost at School (which is very practical-step by step) you actually "collaborate" with the kid for solutions. "What should happen when you do X?"[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]One of my favorite and most successful interventions when my son was young and I was teaching kindergarten was a strategy I got from the "Tough Kid Tool Box", by Jensen. It was called "Bumpy Bunny Timeout". At home we had one of my son's favorite toys which we placed on the window sill (low and visible). There were marks (tape) along the way where this toy, the proverbial "Bunny", could move to. Kind of a race track. There was also a timeout "mat" made from paper. I found this strategy easy to use and my son (who had some of these same melt-down moments) had less of a problem moving this toy along the track forward or backward or to time out if need be-it was a consequence that he accepted.. When he was doing well, the toy got moved along (when it reached its destination he got time to play with it) and he would often ask me to notice his good behavior (self-advocacy at 4/5/6). There were those times when he had to put it into timeout. We had negotiated the whole thing during a quiet moment. It was very effective for some time. Of course we changed the toy from time to time to keep motivation. The goal for me was to increase the positive interactions. (There is a whole new parenting book out about this-name escapes me.) When those interactions are increased really great stuff happens for kids. They start to feel competent, they want these + interactions with their parent, that negative feedback loop ends. It forced me to focus on the positive and notice more. I never threatened that I would be having him move his toy or anything. It was all matter of fact-we had practiced it all during a calm time. He also knew that throwing a fit about moving it would result in the toy being in time out for X amount of time. I have never had the physical stuff coming at me, but I did have royal- throws myself on the floor stuff. This ended well before he started school. I did have some very seriously disabled kiddos in my kindergarten Special Education. group-they were inclusion kids and I co-taught with the regular ed. teacher. It worked pretty well there as well. I agree with the others to withdraw yourself from the room if you can when he gets physical (kicking chair) or verbally aggressive. But you should always revisit the situation when he is calm (maybe next day) I agree also about cutting TV time and overstimulation in the evening.[SIZE=2][/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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