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General Parenting
How do you deal with your difficult child's insults, etc?
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 493350" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>HaoZi...</p><p>Mind if I toss out some of the things that I've had to do?</p><p></p><p>First,I had to recognize:</p><p>1) that kids hate being "sent" to clean their room... doing a cruddy task, all by yourself, is just plain yuck.</p><p>2) that it is easier to spiff up an area that is relatively clean, than to start with a major mess.</p><p>3) that it is easier to make decisions about other people's stuff.</p><p>4) that so much of this battle, is... typical kid.</p><p></p><p>So... </p><p>My kids have had to learn to... vacuum (hallways), dust, clean sinks and tubs, polish mirrors, load/unload dishwasher, fold towels.</p><p>These "public space" tasks, they are expected to do when husband and/or I are doing "public space" tasks.</p><p>One kid (or husband) lifts furniture, the other vacuums... while someone else dusts and tidies up.</p><p>Or, one cleans the tub, one cleans the sink, and I come behind and do the toilet and floor.</p><p></p><p>But...</p><p>When it comes to THEIR room, </p><p><sigh></p><p>Its not just a difficult child thing.</p><p>It depends on the kid.</p><p></p><p>K2... loves a clean (and tidy) room, but just can't keep it that way. Doesn't like me to "do it for her", but definitely prefers a "together" task.</p><p></p><p>K1... hates a clean room - as in, "neat and tidy". Still negotiating, but I do insist that across a 2 week period, every part of the room gets totally clean at least once... desk cleared and cleaned, chairs empty, bed re-made really neat (he gets that one!), and so on. I've had to accept that "clean" is not the same as "tidy".</p><p></p><p>According to our favorite (we outgrew her age-of-service parameters) tdocs... among the most frequent discord between kids and parents are: clean rooms, bedtime, music practice...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 493350, member: 11791"] HaoZi... Mind if I toss out some of the things that I've had to do? First,I had to recognize: 1) that kids hate being "sent" to clean their room... doing a cruddy task, all by yourself, is just plain yuck. 2) that it is easier to spiff up an area that is relatively clean, than to start with a major mess. 3) that it is easier to make decisions about other people's stuff. 4) that so much of this battle, is... typical kid. So... My kids have had to learn to... vacuum (hallways), dust, clean sinks and tubs, polish mirrors, load/unload dishwasher, fold towels. These "public space" tasks, they are expected to do when husband and/or I are doing "public space" tasks. One kid (or husband) lifts furniture, the other vacuums... while someone else dusts and tidies up. Or, one cleans the tub, one cleans the sink, and I come behind and do the toilet and floor. But... When it comes to THEIR room, <sigh> Its not just a difficult child thing. It depends on the kid. K2... loves a clean (and tidy) room, but just can't keep it that way. Doesn't like me to "do it for her", but definitely prefers a "together" task. K1... hates a clean room - as in, "neat and tidy". Still negotiating, but I do insist that across a 2 week period, every part of the room gets totally clean at least once... desk cleared and cleaned, chairs empty, bed re-made really neat (he gets that one!), and so on. I've had to accept that "clean" is not the same as "tidy". According to our favorite (we outgrew her age-of-service parameters) tdocs... among the most frequent discord between kids and parents are: clean rooms, bedtime, music practice... [/QUOTE]
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How do you deal with your difficult child's insults, etc?
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