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How do you "discipline"
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 536557" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>One of the big challenges is that you have (trust me on this) <em>absolutely NO way to measure whatever effort she is putting in</em>. </p><p>Really? Yes. All you can measure is results. Or lack thereof.</p><p></p><p>been there done that. How can she go three months and then... not be able to? Could be as simple as accumulated triggers... and it's NOT the one that sets off the chain reaction, it's all the <em>other ones</em> that you need to track down and deal with. Every single one of them.</p><p></p><p>Example - Current trigger is you and husband going on a trip... assuming, without her? Why? She knows she needs you (even if she rages... especially when she rages... she needs YOU). And YOU are going away? (you = "mom" + "husband")</p><p>We had to turn our lives completely upside down... difficult child is NEVER, not ever, left without one of us. We hate it. It's a strain on the relationship, but... it's the only thing that works for us. We have had to track down and deal with dozens of triggers, including some that only happen at school. The accumulated negative energy eventually spills over, and it's not at any logical point, it's just... whenever the overload overflows...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 536557, member: 11791"] One of the big challenges is that you have (trust me on this) [I]absolutely NO way to measure whatever effort she is putting in[/I]. Really? Yes. All you can measure is results. Or lack thereof. been there done that. How can she go three months and then... not be able to? Could be as simple as accumulated triggers... and it's NOT the one that sets off the chain reaction, it's all the [I]other ones[/I] that you need to track down and deal with. Every single one of them. Example - Current trigger is you and husband going on a trip... assuming, without her? Why? She knows she needs you (even if she rages... especially when she rages... she needs YOU). And YOU are going away? (you = "mom" + "husband") We had to turn our lives completely upside down... difficult child is NEVER, not ever, left without one of us. We hate it. It's a strain on the relationship, but... it's the only thing that works for us. We have had to track down and deal with dozens of triggers, including some that only happen at school. The accumulated negative energy eventually spills over, and it's not at any logical point, it's just... whenever the overload overflows... [/QUOTE]
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