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How do you "discipline"
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 536561" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hi bigbear. Is her behaviour "totally unacceptable"? Maybe what happened to her in her early life is closer to what one might call "totally unacceptable". By which I just mean to say that... I personally really don't feel you can treat this behaviour as if it is coming from a place of wilfulness or "naughtiness". From everything you say, it sounds as if she cannot control it, as if she is in some kind of overload, as IC said. She herself will feel terrible about it afterwards, and scared. No need to heap pointless "punishment" onto this. I think you have to treat her as though, in those moments, she is ill and needs help. Kindness will overcome this, though it may take many years. Severity will not. Having said that, would I be able to implement such a regime of patient loving kindness in response to her rages? Probably not, frankly, because raging touches off a deep seated stress reaction in me. I find it difficult enough with my son, and his "rages" are quite minor in comparison to this. </p><p>So... advice is cheap and easy, implementing it another matter entirely. But I still feel that your daughter is unable to help herself in the moment.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 536561, member: 11227"] Hi bigbear. Is her behaviour "totally unacceptable"? Maybe what happened to her in her early life is closer to what one might call "totally unacceptable". By which I just mean to say that... I personally really don't feel you can treat this behaviour as if it is coming from a place of wilfulness or "naughtiness". From everything you say, it sounds as if she cannot control it, as if she is in some kind of overload, as IC said. She herself will feel terrible about it afterwards, and scared. No need to heap pointless "punishment" onto this. I think you have to treat her as though, in those moments, she is ill and needs help. Kindness will overcome this, though it may take many years. Severity will not. Having said that, would I be able to implement such a regime of patient loving kindness in response to her rages? Probably not, frankly, because raging touches off a deep seated stress reaction in me. I find it difficult enough with my son, and his "rages" are quite minor in comparison to this. So... advice is cheap and easy, implementing it another matter entirely. But I still feel that your daughter is unable to help herself in the moment. [/QUOTE]
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How do you "discipline"
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