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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 262253" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I was just wondering and not in the least comparing anyone to anyone else. Witz the story about Ray broke my heart. Some of the things that were done to him were done to my son (and worse) by his bio dad. Dude was rewarded by him for being mean, hitting, and had he been left to live there or in that environment? He would either be in prison or dead. I've been told that numerous times by numberous professionals. </p><p> </p><p>That's what makes me wonder about cases like this, and Ray and Christopher Pittman here in the low country. Christopher was on Zoloft, abused by his mother with a very unstable history and finally went to live with his grandparents. He shot them both dead in the middle of the night because voices said to do it, and then just went on about his routine and life. He is the first child in SC to get life in prison. He was recently denied an appeal and I don't know if his professional team is done with him or if he's just going to spend his life in prison. </p><p> </p><p>I guess what bothers me most about children like these are that Dude would /could have been just like them. Of course he's 18 and has NO clue that his life could have been like this. But we kept at it and worked with him and now I'm not afraid of him anymore. I wouldn't lock my door if he spent the night in my home. So what is it that changes? THe help, the therapy, the growing up, the constant parenting whether it be by parent, aunt or grandparent? Is it that someone steps in and says "I CARE?" and never stops caring? OR is it interfering? Or not detaching? What? </p><p> </p><p>Daisy - I've met people that were pure evil. I lived with one. My x's nephew set my sons bed on fire when he was 2 1/2.....he has never gotten help - he has an alcoholic/drug addict father and a boozer/grasshopper man to man to man Mother. At four - he was the meanest child I had ever met. He would laugh when he hurt the dogs on purpose, he would hit the other kids with toys, trucks -in the head and then if not observed - laugh. IF observed and corrected you would get a death look - from a FOUR year old!! At almost 20 - he's been in and out of trouble with the law and it's a miracle that everyone that comes in contact with him hears his sad story of childhood, feels sorry for him and then he gets out of trouble because people won't press charges either because they are afraid of retaliation or they really feel sorry. Him? I wouldn't hesitate to put in jail. I think he's more like his uncle (my X) than anyone realizes. Even as a baby - when they lived with us - I never let him play with Dude unattended. Even with me there - he would strike Dude with things. This eventually led to them being asked to move out. </p><p> </p><p>Donna - I forgot you work where you do. Just curious what would make you think that any of the guys you see daily would make good neighbors - WHAT is it that happened to them in prison that would make them productive members of society? Enough for you to think he could live next to you or anyone? I think that's fascinating. </p><p> </p><p>And D3 - you are absolutely correct - kids aren't for throw away - but there should be one law - period. Here in SC it varies from county to county.....a farming community who has a kid that runs over mail boxes is more likely to give a difficult child a stiffer penalty -than say where I live in the big city - where it would be more than likely dismissed with probation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 262253, member: 4964"] I was just wondering and not in the least comparing anyone to anyone else. Witz the story about Ray broke my heart. Some of the things that were done to him were done to my son (and worse) by his bio dad. Dude was rewarded by him for being mean, hitting, and had he been left to live there or in that environment? He would either be in prison or dead. I've been told that numerous times by numberous professionals. That's what makes me wonder about cases like this, and Ray and Christopher Pittman here in the low country. Christopher was on Zoloft, abused by his mother with a very unstable history and finally went to live with his grandparents. He shot them both dead in the middle of the night because voices said to do it, and then just went on about his routine and life. He is the first child in SC to get life in prison. He was recently denied an appeal and I don't know if his professional team is done with him or if he's just going to spend his life in prison. I guess what bothers me most about children like these are that Dude would /could have been just like them. Of course he's 18 and has NO clue that his life could have been like this. But we kept at it and worked with him and now I'm not afraid of him anymore. I wouldn't lock my door if he spent the night in my home. So what is it that changes? THe help, the therapy, the growing up, the constant parenting whether it be by parent, aunt or grandparent? Is it that someone steps in and says "I CARE?" and never stops caring? OR is it interfering? Or not detaching? What? Daisy - I've met people that were pure evil. I lived with one. My x's nephew set my sons bed on fire when he was 2 1/2.....he has never gotten help - he has an alcoholic/drug addict father and a boozer/grasshopper man to man to man Mother. At four - he was the meanest child I had ever met. He would laugh when he hurt the dogs on purpose, he would hit the other kids with toys, trucks -in the head and then if not observed - laugh. IF observed and corrected you would get a death look - from a FOUR year old!! At almost 20 - he's been in and out of trouble with the law and it's a miracle that everyone that comes in contact with him hears his sad story of childhood, feels sorry for him and then he gets out of trouble because people won't press charges either because they are afraid of retaliation or they really feel sorry. Him? I wouldn't hesitate to put in jail. I think he's more like his uncle (my X) than anyone realizes. Even as a baby - when they lived with us - I never let him play with Dude unattended. Even with me there - he would strike Dude with things. This eventually led to them being asked to move out. Donna - I forgot you work where you do. Just curious what would make you think that any of the guys you see daily would make good neighbors - WHAT is it that happened to them in prison that would make them productive members of society? Enough for you to think he could live next to you or anyone? I think that's fascinating. And D3 - you are absolutely correct - kids aren't for throw away - but there should be one law - period. Here in SC it varies from county to county.....a farming community who has a kid that runs over mail boxes is more likely to give a difficult child a stiffer penalty -than say where I live in the big city - where it would be more than likely dismissed with probation. [/QUOTE]
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