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Substance Abuse
How do you find joy?
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 605088" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>I have thought more on this. It is very hard to not be a bit enmeshed when they are still under age. Heck its hard when they are supposedly adults! As parents we have to do certain things for them. There are certain things we have to do like provide a roof, a place to sleep and something to sleep on, clothing, food, and medical care. Well none of that has to be the best. You already provide the roof. I would strip his room of everything but a mattress, blanket and pillow. He doesnt have to have a bed frame. If you are feeling generous you can give him the box spring. I would buy his clothes at either Goodwill or whatever other second hand store you have in your area. His shoes would be generic. Food can be something either you like or oatmeal and boxed cereal is a good breakfast. PBJ is just fine for lunch. If you happen to like liver and he doesnt, I would have that as often as possible. Or whatever else he doesnt like. He can have another pbj. No electronics that you can actually take away. Get yourself a cell phone and cut off the land line. Lock the router down so he cant use anything to get online. </p><p></p><p>However, let him earn things back if he starts to act better. </p><p></p><p>From the time my son was 16 and no longer in school, he never got new clothes from a real store except at Xmas. I never took holidays away. Other than that he had to wear used clothing and he had to wear shoes I picked out. We hardly ever kept special food in the house but since he would eat just about everything except onions and cherries, there wasnt much we could take away. At that point I had a password on my computer and he couldnt get on it. We blocked our house phone down so severely you couldnt even call the operator or any 1-800 numbers. I couldnt take away TV because the rest of us watched it but we didnt have cable. There were times he lost out on going hunting or fishing with his dad because of behavior. He actually behaved pretty well from age 16 until about 19 when he met the mother of his oldest child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 605088, member: 1514"] I have thought more on this. It is very hard to not be a bit enmeshed when they are still under age. Heck its hard when they are supposedly adults! As parents we have to do certain things for them. There are certain things we have to do like provide a roof, a place to sleep and something to sleep on, clothing, food, and medical care. Well none of that has to be the best. You already provide the roof. I would strip his room of everything but a mattress, blanket and pillow. He doesnt have to have a bed frame. If you are feeling generous you can give him the box spring. I would buy his clothes at either Goodwill or whatever other second hand store you have in your area. His shoes would be generic. Food can be something either you like or oatmeal and boxed cereal is a good breakfast. PBJ is just fine for lunch. If you happen to like liver and he doesnt, I would have that as often as possible. Or whatever else he doesnt like. He can have another pbj. No electronics that you can actually take away. Get yourself a cell phone and cut off the land line. Lock the router down so he cant use anything to get online. However, let him earn things back if he starts to act better. From the time my son was 16 and no longer in school, he never got new clothes from a real store except at Xmas. I never took holidays away. Other than that he had to wear used clothing and he had to wear shoes I picked out. We hardly ever kept special food in the house but since he would eat just about everything except onions and cherries, there wasnt much we could take away. At that point I had a password on my computer and he couldnt get on it. We blocked our house phone down so severely you couldnt even call the operator or any 1-800 numbers. I couldnt take away TV because the rest of us watched it but we didnt have cable. There were times he lost out on going hunting or fishing with his dad because of behavior. He actually behaved pretty well from age 16 until about 19 when he met the mother of his oldest child. [/QUOTE]
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