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General Parenting
How do you get a kid to do his work?
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 406211" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Has to be assistive technology. My difficult child absolutely adamantly refused math. Wouldn't learn times tables and there was not a doggone thing anyone could do about it. There was no Learning Disability (LD) related to it, no physical or cognitive problem, just... him digging in his heels and refusing, period. Rewards, consequences, didn't matter. I finally had them write in his IEP he was to be allowed use of a calculator - how long do you keep beating a dead horse? Math was a trigger for him since first grade - it is what it is. </p><p></p><p>There are teachers/administrators who get it in their heads that they will "force" a kid to do something. That sets up an adversarial relationship between the student and the teacher. In my experience, the teacher *always* lost because my kid's defiance ran circles around her determination. I remember one very smug woman who assured me that she would have thank you doing his time's tables by the end of the school year - this was probably the middle of 4th grade, a transfer to a self-contained school for BD kids. Oh, she just knew that she was far more competent and capable than his previous teachers, and certainly knew far more than I did about teaching my kid. Sometimes you just have to let people learn on their own. I wasn't terribly surprised when I started getting the calls - my son was having to be removed from math class almost every day. Gee.... what a shock. To this day, he cannot multiply in his head.</p><p></p><p>I didn't fight the homework wars. I was fighting the showering, toothbrushing, don't assault parents/sibs wars at home. There was no way I was going to tackle homework on top of it all. I made it very clear at IEP mtgs, and I told them *exactly* why I wouldn't do it - with examples of our daily routine of meltdowns, rages, and restraints. They couldn't get him to do work at school - I felt no guilt about not being able to get him to do it at home.</p><p></p><p>Keep track of amt of time in ISS - that counts as suspension and when you hit 10 days total, they have to review IEP/BIP. And if that alpha-smart is in IEP and they're not letting him use it, you need to be sure to bring it up at IEP mtg next week. They're suspending him because *they're* not following IEP.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 406211, member: 8"] Has to be assistive technology. My difficult child absolutely adamantly refused math. Wouldn't learn times tables and there was not a doggone thing anyone could do about it. There was no Learning Disability (LD) related to it, no physical or cognitive problem, just... him digging in his heels and refusing, period. Rewards, consequences, didn't matter. I finally had them write in his IEP he was to be allowed use of a calculator - how long do you keep beating a dead horse? Math was a trigger for him since first grade - it is what it is. There are teachers/administrators who get it in their heads that they will "force" a kid to do something. That sets up an adversarial relationship between the student and the teacher. In my experience, the teacher *always* lost because my kid's defiance ran circles around her determination. I remember one very smug woman who assured me that she would have thank you doing his time's tables by the end of the school year - this was probably the middle of 4th grade, a transfer to a self-contained school for BD kids. Oh, she just knew that she was far more competent and capable than his previous teachers, and certainly knew far more than I did about teaching my kid. Sometimes you just have to let people learn on their own. I wasn't terribly surprised when I started getting the calls - my son was having to be removed from math class almost every day. Gee.... what a shock. To this day, he cannot multiply in his head. I didn't fight the homework wars. I was fighting the showering, toothbrushing, don't assault parents/sibs wars at home. There was no way I was going to tackle homework on top of it all. I made it very clear at IEP mtgs, and I told them *exactly* why I wouldn't do it - with examples of our daily routine of meltdowns, rages, and restraints. They couldn't get him to do work at school - I felt no guilt about not being able to get him to do it at home. Keep track of amt of time in ISS - that counts as suspension and when you hit 10 days total, they have to review IEP/BIP. And if that alpha-smart is in IEP and they're not letting him use it, you need to be sure to bring it up at IEP mtg next week. They're suspending him because *they're* not following IEP. Hang in there!!! [/QUOTE]
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